Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Dicky, Dec 18, 2013.
Zoe set the dogs on them...
Poppy and Etty escapsed to the sanctity of Poppy"s truck. Poppy turned to Etty and asked tenderly "When will you give me back my bank cards babe? We will need fuel soon if we are to make Chez poop before Dark and sell your brother the gold!".
Etty fluttered her eyelids and said in her manly voice " What cards are those big boy?"
Poppy put his head in his hands and cried....
A little old man hobbled into the area of debris left by the rapid growth of the magic beans and discovered a single bean wrinkled and shrivelled by age and bad living, resting on a rusty tin lid. He picked the old magnolia coloured bean up and looked at it with his one good eye, sniffed it...and threw it to the ground.
The instant it touched the soil it grew into a strange shape. The old man thought his luck had changed and he was going to get the ride of his dreams, but when the dust settled all he had was a magnolia T25.
Lord S turned, as his faithful retainer @vanorak appeared, wearing his customary flat cap and waistcoat. "Did you attend to her Ladyship, Vanners?", he asked. "Aye, I did tek a luke at 'er Ladyship...'er flange were...y'know...loose, like, so I propped it up wi' a length of...y'know...timber. Her boiler stays'll need...attention." He winked mischievously. "I took the opportunity of stoking up 'er firebox, like...". "You do amuse me, Vanners", Lord S said. "Even if I can barely understand a word you're saying".
At that very moment, the door burst open and a figure wearing soaking wet oilskins, covered in seaweed, came in - it was @fritt, the old sea dog. "I've had violent gusting winds from the south", he muttered. "I've had to haul in the spanker and batten down the mizzen whelp. We'll not see Vapariso before morning. Ahaaarrr..."
I wonder why are pirates called pirates? Is it because they Arrrrrrr
" Begee pardun your lordship" he said, knuckling his forelock." Oil be on my way for a sit in the doldrums till this here wind dies down". His gait implying urgency but saying nothing.
Poppy and Etty carried on their merry way. As they travelled on the birds began to sing less. The skys darkened, forks of lightning rent the sky. On rounding a corner they were confronted by a road sign, it read " Yorkshire Welcomes Yorkshire Men And No Bugger Else. Please have your passport open at the photo page, and enjoy your stay."
And then from a small,rude hut an untidy creature with a gammy leg, hobbled up to the border barrier. He lent on it, scratched his behind, then gave a great hoik and sent a globule of shimmering green phlem into the grass growing up through the tarmac, and enquired "Ow do?"
Welcome to to Gods own country, the best county in the world where we have the best scenery, best cricket, most beautiful, lasses highest hills best everything,. We can drink everyone under the table, eat the most food and have the highest motorway in Britain. Now behave and don't drop any litter.
Btw, If You're Poptop and that lovely lass that looks like a proper Yorkshire lass if it wasn't for the three days stubble is Ricketta Then I have a message for you. There is a moderator looking for you and has been trailing you for a day, HE'S BEHIND YOU!
Oh No he isn't!
Oh yes I am!!!
He's behind you!
Oh no he isn't?
'ello, 'ello' 'ello.
Wot's all this then?
It's Leo Sayer being bashed with @Top Banana Racing s big weapon..
The moderator was the stealth mod @redarmy he had lost his way in the fog at Yeovil and was relying on a cider driven sat nav which had run out of juice when he got thirsty and sucked the the remaining scrumpy from the microphone hole. @HorTs had telephoned him and told him to get on the missing Karma case.
Poppy and Etty were blisfully disregarding the evil Mod that pursued them and blasting Waterloo from the cab as they scattered the wrapping of the Macdonalds that Etty had just treated Poppy to all over Huddersfield.
Chez Poop Loomed in the distance, A grand brown Victorian building that had brown trees, brown grass, brown tarmac and brown roof tiles, Chez Poop was indeed a dark place.......
As they drove through the brown gates Etty asked Poppy to stop as she needed to water the horse. She was gone for ages.....
Poppy could wait no longer ( he deduced Etty was struggling to find tissues for the swipe) His ardour was up, the thought of shooting his load ( lorry driver speak for offloading his payload) and finally becoming rich was too much to for him to bear. He made his way to the grand brown door and pulled the bell chain...
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