"Pony was very thirsty" said Etty on returning to Poppy. He hadn't had any Theakstons Old Peculiar since some one in cammo and lighting fires, wearing a' I heart Ray Mears' tshirt, came staggering out of the woods, muttering about supping too much Morris30. " He downed my bucket of T.O.P. In one!" Exclained Pony then lurched into the undergrowth. "He's still in there, or that sound is something with teeth bigger than my arse. Best keep out of there. " "By the way Etty, there has been some shady Evil Moderators,BOO HISS lurking about. You and Poppy be careful now. (Apologies Para.)
@jivedubbin Err hmm -- "Wtf do you want?"he shouted -- Nigel It is me Poppy do you not remember me, JD ushered Poppy to one side and explained " Alright Malc sorry about that. I lost my plumbing business after being sued for plumbing a saniflow unit outlet to the feed pipe on a changing room shower in the local lady's gym (easy mistake) I have got a job working for Mr Roooooo the brown Baron, But I have to pretend to be a Yorkshireman - God it's hard. KT has the job of housekeeper watch out for her right hook!". He ushered Poppy in and announced him with the customary Yorkshire introduction " some w--kers here for you M'lud! ... Wipe yer feeet an go in Lad"...
Then one of the evil Moderators appeared & said "I hope you're all behaving yourselves?" Then the evil Moderator disappeared back into the ether having seen that all was well ...................... so far
"Sit thee down lad, and take the mess off your feet" welcomed the brown baron, "does thou partake int' snuff?" "Not for me m'lord" replied Poppy, "although im partial to an ale or two after my heavy exertions" "Ah" says the baron "how is my darling brot........sister?" "Fair to middling m'lord, handling like a good 'un. Do you know of the trick she does with the banana?"
Poppy entered the brown room,an imposing oak panelled drawing room furnished with ancient oil paintings of past masters that had graced the walls of chez Poop. Standing by the open fire talking to his friend @Moons who was lounging casually in the Chesterfield near by, was the imposing and strangely handsome Rickyrooooooo1 The brown Baron. "Sit thee down lad, and take the mess off your feet" welcomed the brown baron, "does thou partake int' snuff?" "Not for me m'lord" replied Poppy, "although im partial to an ale or two after my heavy exertions" "Ah" says the baron "how is my darling brot........sister?" "Fair to middling m'lord, handling like a good 'un. Do you know of the trick she does with the banana?" Yes, it does a peel to my soh. "Alright son" he boomed - "have you got the karma- err hmm, Gold I so desire?" Poppy bowed slightly before stammering his reply -- " yyes Sir, I have the gold on the truck all we need now is payment and I will be on my way Sir!" Poppy noticed a familiar and strangely alluring look about the Baron? " Do you take cards?" the Baron asked........
"That I do, and the one involving the golf ball and the hose pipe! But enough of this manly banter, where is the wench?" Enter stage left, Etty looking a bit more bedraggled than usual.............. Poppy jumps up "Oh Etty my Love, what the hells happened to you?" "Oh Poppy" she says, " I was just water the horse when i was pounced on from behind, by this big, hairy B+stard! He mauled me Poppy, He was a propper northern savage, all caloused skin, teeth like a picket fence and the strength of a bear! I fought bravely my love, I wailed, and punched and kicked and gnashed my teeth like a true Rugeley girl but eventually he gave in knowing escape was futile and took me like the hoare i am!" "Bye eck!!" Said the baron, "Did this beast smell of sugar beet and rubbing alcohol?" " He did dear brother, He Did!" "That wont no beast yer daft bint, it were me shire horse, Horace!"
They can't be seen in the same room silly ( they are one of the same shhhh, you will spoil then ending)
