Panto script

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Dicky, Dec 18, 2013.

  1. Poptop2

    Poptop2 Moderator

    It would be Something like this- same accent as @rickyrooo1

  2. Poptop2

    Poptop2 Moderator

    Poppy refused the cards, saying he was oddly overdrawn quite a bit since first meeting the Barons sister, The Baron smiled knowingly and asked if Poppy needed a Jalousie window for his van, Poppy patiently explained that a Jalousie for his van was £90 tops, yet the karma gold on his truck was worth gadzillions of pounds, enough almost to buy a justkampers engine. The brown Baron summoned his manservant jivedubbin and demanded the staff be assembled in the hall and a careful watch posted over them while he took his friend Moons around the back to open the concealed entrance. the one that led to the Barons safe. JD was instructed to bring the wheelbarrow and the money was piled high upon it.

    "Are you sure you you won't take a card Poppy dear?" the Baron asked for one last time --

    Poppy ....
  3. Poptop2

    Poptop2 Moderator

    Told the Baron to stop feckin about and get the gold off his truck while he counted the dough. The Baron organised his work force. @Keith.H the butler, @Joker the chauffeur and not a type 4 messing with, @kev house handyman and @MorkC68 the gamekeeper and off they set to unload the gold.

    Soon the money had been counted, the gold offloaded and the Baron retreated back to the comfort of his drawing room,, A final instruction to JD to set the dogs on Poppy if he wasn't gone and that smoke bellowing bag of nails removed from his drive within the next five minutes was issued and the deed was done.

    Poppy was now rich beyond his wildest dreams, when Etty had finished watering the lawn he would swoop her up into his cab and head to the ball at Zed towers. Rich an able to hold his head high amongst the landed gentry such as @Lord Charles and @Lord Congi and @HorTs AND @WoodyLubber and @steveagain the Scots Laird of the tenaments. @Silver the wealthy cowboy builder who had featured prominantly on many episodes of rogue trader, friends he would be amongst friends with his true love @Rickyetta Roo on his arm - tonight he would be a proud lorry driver indeed, the past would be behind him, the lonely nights of lustful deeds would be a thing of the past and hopefully a bit of plastic surgery and a hooky licence would send the old bill off his trail, life could not be sweeter.

    Now to find Etty, get back his cards and head down the M1 and along the A14 to zed Towers. remembering to avoid the trolls along the way--- Magic!

    Last edited: Dec 21, 2013
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  4. MorkC68

    MorkC68 Moderator

    Gamekeeper Mork


    OYYYYYYYY get orrrfffff moyyyyy laaaarrrnnnnnddddddddd :eek:
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  5. Poptop2

    Poptop2 Moderator

    Poppy searched high and low for Etty, but to no avail, she was nowhere to be seen,. finally in a fit of pique poppy smashed down the Barons back door and marched in to the safe room, To his surprise and dismay there on the floor amongst the scattered gold were Etty and @Moons in a tight clinch, In shock and in a very manly Brummie voice Etty turned on Poppy. " What do you want you perverted diesel breath, This is my true love, Karma, I have it all now and I don't need no greasy weaselly truck driver to help me love it, I am the karma whore, the karma collector and Moons is my true love, you-- meant nothing to me, you were my tool to get the karma, now go, leave Moons and me to wallow in our karma - you are but a bad memory" and at that she threw back his cards, and JD the man servant---- set the dogs on poppy....
    Last edited: Dec 21, 2013
  6. Poptop2

    Poptop2 Moderator

    Poppy could not face going to the ball at Zed towers alone and his mind wandered to dark deeds, his self esteem was low and his hand felt for the ball pein hammer he kept at hand behind the seat...

    At that very moment a blue bay loomed into sight and indicated in to the lay by, It was @Tiny-Pie the "just in" Yorkshire Princess, she knocked on Poppys cab door and asked if he had a light. Poppy's heart filled with joy at the the sight of Tiny and he handed her the hot end of the cab lighter by mistake, "oh Tiny he sighed you are my lighthouse on a sea of despair"" Oh and yes I googled tiny pie pictures , soz" Tiny said "ouch me bloody finger" and lit her fag, her eyes sparkling in the cab light, " how's it hangin Poppy?" she asked." Bloody awful " replied Poppy and proceeded to tell her of the last few days and the deceit of Etty. Tiny looked longingly into poppy's eyes and said " Poppy, we are one of the same you and I, I have felt this way since our eyes met in that mirror all those years ago when I was but a slip of a dubber,I have longed to share my clothes with you and go on girly nights out. drinking vodka shots beforehand and getting so drunk together we share our deepest emotions!" Poppy looked longingly in to Tiny's eyes and said he felt the same way too. and asked her to accompany him to Zed towers. Tiny wiped a tear from her eye and said - " sorry I was just remembering the last time I met that lot at techenders, I have had therapy ever since! But yes Poppy my beloved I will accompany you there, I would feel honoured"

    Poppy felt the weight of his past demeanours lift and took his hand off the hammer. Tiny locked her cab door and leapt into Poppys cab, and together they headed south to zed towers, Tiny shall go to the ball............
    Last edited: Dec 19, 2013
  7. Poptop2

    Poptop2 Moderator

    Poppy to Tiny on the journey----

    " Do you do that thing with the banana? -- What thing? -- oh forget it nothing!"

    " Do you give credit cards back?" -- Credit cards, what's that got to do with the price of chips?--- Oh nothing!"

    " You're not wearing brown Y fronts are you? -- eh? -- errr nothing!".......
    Last edited: Dec 19, 2013
  8. Poptop2

    Poptop2 Moderator

    Over to you @vanorak for the final chapters:thumbsup:
  9. This thread reads like one man's slow descent into madness......we can all tell who has too much time on his hands @poptop2....
    dog likes this.
  10. rickyrooo1

    rickyrooo1 Hanging round like a bad smell

    oi i heard that.
  11. Poptop2

    Poptop2 Moderator

    Jealousy is a terrible trait in a man --:thumbsup:

    I was hoping to make you smile. soz:(
    CollyP likes this.
  12. I'm not saying I didn't smile....
    CollyP likes this.
  13. Poptop2

    Poptop2 Moderator

    I'm not saying I haven't descended into madness....
    CollyP and Moons like this.
  14. Poptop2

    Poptop2 Moderator

    You're history - read the script you two timing karma whore;)
    CollyP likes this.
  15. So, poppy and tiny a bouncing along in the cab of his wagon.
    "Aye tiny, have you seen the size of my horn" asked the dog eared trucker, tiny stifled a giggle, a bit like a Yorkshire babs Windsor and says, "oh poppy, your such a naughty boy!"
    Taken aback poppy retorts "get your mind out of the gutter lass, it's me air horns! 18" long and I polish the full length twice daily, you can help if you like?"
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  16. Suddenly a telegraph pole fell in front of Poppy's wagon, he hit the brakes and locked the whole thing up, skidding sideways towards the obstacle! It was then they saw the evil troll Wizard, laughing manically at them and waving his mighty axe in the air......
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  17. And was mowed down by a depressed old man driving a beige T25
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  18. snotty

    snotty Sponsor

    Have they come to take him away yet?
    Poptop2 likes this.
  19. Poptop2

    Poptop2 Moderator

    It's okay I have taken my tablets and handed the reins back to those of higher intellect and better punctuation.

    I didn't want Poo dragging my good name through the Yorkshire mud. Wink
  20. Poppy wrenched hard on the steering wheel...the truck swerved violently, first this way, then that....the tyres screeched, the engine roared, the cab would surely shake to pieces......but just when Princess Pie thought all was lost, Poppy managed to wrestle the Wagon back on to the road, clipping the rear corner of the beige Blandmobile (more out of spite, than expediency)
    Sensing that the danger had passed, the Princess climbed out of the glovebox, and settled back into the passenger seat, removing the discarded tissues stuck to her face, and rubbing the curious depression in her forehead, which one must assume had been made by sharing a confined space with a blunt implement.
    Poppy mopped his fevered brow with the back of his string-backed gloves and re focused on the long drive ahead.....he rued the day he first set eyes on Rickyetta, but with the tiny Princess at his side, he felt the swellings of a new love beginning.....

    The journey to Zed Towers was thankfully uneventful, save for the occasional comfort break and a false Tacho change. Finally, the tell-tale scrunching of tyres upon gravel , signalled that they had arrived. There, before them, in all it's jaded opulence stood the crumbling pile that was Zed Towers.
    "Should get those lawns done..." thought Poppy to himself as he gunned the goods wagon towards the formal entrance....
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