With the evil Wizard troll now dead Poppy and Princess Tiny were filled with joy. Unfortunately their path was blocked by the fallen telegraph pole. "Only one thing for it Poppy darling." Called Princess Tiny as she fell out of the cab. Rolling up her sleeves, she took Wizard's chopper in both hands with a firm grip. She kept pummeling the pole up and down, " Give it some welly Poppy" she screamed, as Poppy repeatedly thrusted as hard as he could at the obstacle with his 18 wheeler. With a crash and a collective scream, Poppy broke through and Princess Tiny returned breathless to the cab for a fag.
Meanwhile, inside zed towers, the party was in full swing! People were laughing, dancing and vomiting with wild abandon! The drink was flowing freely and the dwarfs with shaven heads and lines of powder on top we're going down a storm, much like the hired entertainment....
.....but little did the guests know, because while they were getting down to ABBA, lord zed was deep under ground in his bat cave putting the final touches to his plan.....
which was ingratiate himself with the assembled notaries with his culinary prowess (assuming you have been following the script) by creating the most delectable minced tart, in the form of an prototype bay, complete in every detail, down to the ineffectual air scoops and lack of frontal crash protection.
Im sorry m,lud and your baronship i have not been attending to my duties recently as i been in the yard clenching my buttocks due to eating the left over food from recfent feasts ( i making this up as i go stick with it ) im of now to catch up on what is going on
Poppy jumped manfully from the cab, and like a true gentlemen, walked around to the passenger's side, to open the door for his beautiful, albeit diminutive date. He picked her up and carefully placed the pica-princess in his top pocket, and strode to the door. Seizing the tarnished brass knocker in his right hand, he wrapped upon it thus - . --. .- - (which the more astute among the audience will recognize is morse code for tw*t) Hailfrank, the feckless halfwit dogsbody, was readying the tart in the scullery when he heard the unfamiliar call. He dragged his fetid carcase down the hallway and open the door...
BUT... All is not as it seems as Princess Tiny is not from...DUN DUN DUUURR YORKSHIRE! She's a Lancashire lass... and being a soft arse asthmatic a fag would be a bad idea... The real princess tiny had been kidnapped by the evil Wizzard and locked in a dungeon in the deepest darkest parts of chez poo... he had cast a spell on @tuesday_wildchild who was actually a frog really but he had turned him into a princess tiny look alike to trick poor poppy...
"Whatdayerwant?" Hailfrank asked while scratching his nether regions, "this ere is a right proper posh doo, for posh folk like" There was a mighty flash and the tiny pie princess exploded out of Poppy's pocket to become a 30ft giant Tuesdays wild child.....Frog........
There was one particularly eager group of people who would know that this was not the real tiny... her trusty BEAVERS...
The giant frog schlopped on to the floor, knocking over the faux-elephant's foot umbrella stand cum hat rack, sending tophats , tiaras and tailcoats flying through the air like a typhoon at a Toffs jumble sale. Hailfrank and Poppy looked on bewildered as the green-eyed gargantuan hopped inexorably towards the Ballroom, where the dignitaries were eagerly awaiting their sweet-savoury surprise. Onwards flopped the frog, smashing chandeliers and dashing the dado rails (which seemed to become detached a little too easily) "Should fix that dado..." thought Poppy, but he was brought abruptly to his senses, by Hailfrank, who, on the verge of hysteria (as befits his age) was screaming "The Tart!....the Tart!" "Where?" inquired Lord @snotty , (who was always on the sniff for a little lady-loving) "BEHIND YOU" shouted Hailfrank "Where?" asked Lord S, assuming that the rather large amphibian towering before him was merely an apparition brought on by his over zealous use of nasal decongestant earlier that evening....
