This town aint big enough for the both of us!

.....Or ---Very used to that sort of intrusion...

 

On set 2 Poppy was dithering, he had his Cptn Poppy uniform undone, his made up paunch stuffing hanging out and looked like a teddy bear with a gash in his stomach. He was struggling to maintain his upper class English accent and kept breaking out all Italian. Private Joe Snotty the company spiv, leaned back on his rifle and turned to his old pal ' Private Godfrey Terrordales' and said

" gawd blimey he looks a proper Charlie the pompous old windbag. Ere, I couldn't interest you in some silk stockings could i?"

" I don't think they will fit over my longjohns old chap, I wouldn't mind a peek though, If you don't mind?" replied Private Godfrey Terrordales.

Private Joe Snotty pulled up his trouser leg and showed Private Terrordales his sheer silk stockings.

"I say, they do look rather nice, could i have a feel?" Private Terrordales looked suitably shocked, glanced around furtively and said.

"Help yourself, my pleasure, but be quick old pompous pants might have a blue fit if he sees us having a fondle"

"Oh Joe, that silk feels quite lumpy!"

" You're feeling the wrong ruddy place you silly old duffer, carry on though"....

 

The Debonair Uncle Sargent @Keith.H Wilson, strolled in and with the bored nonchalance of a born aristocrat yawned - " This is so tedious, and trite, could we not have a complete remake, possibly in a big screen version, I could play Mainwaring with style and sophistication"...