This town aint big enough for the both of us!

Meanwhile, Back in town Poppy was enjoying his new found popularity with the ladies of the town watersports association. While the Rusty Sheriff massaged his own ego in the loneliness of his champagne edition camper that was parked next to the county conveniences. He rubbed his chin with his finger and thumb and looked thoughtful ' I will have that Poppy tomorrow' I will meet him at the Station and ply him with drink, then I will persuade him to enter the ring with me at the ok coral' He smiled to himself and let his hand fall to his weapon that he kept in his trouser pocket.. "I will do him good!" he said aloud to himself and laughed out loud, a sinister laugh that made the wild prairie wolves howl..

 

The three bad guys Brown star, Boots and Ginger Lee ( Not to be confused with Stagger Lee, his cousin) waddled purposely to the front of Poppy's Pizzeria, They pushed Ginger Lee towards the door and urged him to shout out. "Hey Poppy, get yer four flushing, low life, Hi talian butt out here, and face the Sheriff man to man, he's gonna run you outa town!"

Poppy, asked the ladies for a towel and walked wringed in sweat ( least it looked like sweat?) to his porch.

"Waddya wanta?" ( anyone who really knows Poppy, knows he doesn't talk like that, but it's for effect)

" I want you loverboy" It was the brown star sheriff, who stood before him, His weapon was at the ready.

" Waddya wan a me for, you filthia beast?"

' I am going to run you outa town, you pipsqueak, but first I'm gonna make you sing for yer supper" and at that the sherifff raised his rusty long black weapon. " Sing Boy, sing for me, before I blow you away!

A little more wee ran down Poppy's trouser leg," Maisy, stop a doin thata" Poppy said to the lady next to him, he moved her aside then spontaneously broke into song...

He sang Giacomo Puccini's aria from the final scene of his opera Turandot - Nessun dorma.

He sang so beautifully the ladies wept, his tenor voice, brought crowds who were previously afraid to throng in front of his pizzaria, They men leaned on their elbows and smiled, the ladies swooned, the children played, and the brown star sheriff stood motionless in awe. When Poppy finished the final chords, there wasn't a dry eye in the street, they cheered and clapped and danced, The brown star sheriff fell to his knee's in surrender, never in his life had he heard such a voice, such refinement and such culture, Kiss concerts were just full of transvestites and rough uncultured voices, blurted out over massive speakers that left you with ringing ears and deaf for days afterwards. In short he was a fallen man. In reverence he raised himself slowly from his knees and walked towards Poppy, he put on his best James Stewart voice and said.

" Poppy, you have changed me forever, tonight i am a new man, no more wild listless roaming for me, my mission in life is now clear. I want to sing like you, i want to be the man you are, I want to make pizza like you do, join the watersports association and learn to be refined. say you will teach me to sing Signor Poppytopia, please say you will!"

Poppy looked down upon the bowed head of the crestfallen Sheriff and patted it lightly.

" Surely, Sheriff my friend you can sing a leetle, everyone can sing a leetle?"

The Sheriff, whisperd in Poppy's ear that he did sing at school.

"Well a singa us a song sheriff my friend, sing a us a song" " I 0nly know the one, and there are no words! said the sheriff. " Go on then, my friend, sing a us the songa you know" The sheriff lifted his head and looked around at the gathered crowd. he made both hands into a fist in front of him bent his elbows and slowly moved one arm back before the other, then the other one back afterwards, whilst the other one swung forward again, he opened his mouth while his arms moved in unison and sang..

Da Da da da da da taan , deh deh deh deh, deh deh deh the,dedet dedet de deh, de de det deh de, der deh dat de dat der, der der der der der, der der, ..

It was the theme tune from Thomas the tank engine, his most secret and favourite favourite all time song. he knew it word for word, his whole life was suddenly lifted, he began to tap his feet and dance......

 

" Blimey, hospital agin" Barmy thought out loud and then turned and ran to his horse. The nearest hospital was over a 1000 miles away, he wouldn't be posting on tlb for while! He consoled himself with the thought 'That will make them wonder where i have gone to again' He kicked his horse and it ran off ahead of him. Barmy chased after it shouting " wait for me" while all the time his body swelled beneath his chaps....

 

Just for the uninitiated. Rickyrooo! and me are friends. the barsteward had dog add 'the don' to my avatar after I bought the Italian doka and declared my househpld Italian in part ( my wife is btw). I have always took the Mick out of his van since he came on here telling us about his import of a very rare champagne edition westfalia ( we called it the log cabin and the like) he was initiated!. recently some devious sod has had the 'rusty sheriff's badge added to his avatar. and I thought it was an apt time to do a tlb story.,,, end of apology. except to say. I believe he is a closet gayer that likes train spotting and I am meeting him at the steam railway on Saturday for a drink. wish me luck.

 

Give us a chance, you've introduced a new character ' El Van orak' wtf did he come from?

 

The last I heard of him, he was working as a pox Doctos clerk in River street earning a bit on the side selling part writing to Barbara Cartland!

 

RIGHT! I heard he had overdosed on penicillin. Oh well , the dastardly mek i kano is back then?

 

Meanwhile back to the plot. Rusty and Poppy had become firm friends in the few weeks that had passed. Randy ( the bartender at sANDY's place) had persuaded them to do a nightly turn early doors. Poppy sang arias from Puccini operas, whilst Rusty accompanied him playing the Thomas theme tune on a tambourine and humming the melody during pauses in the aria. It worked in a fashion, a sort of barber shop duet without any semblance to harmony. It mattered not, Poppy and Rusty were happy, and the bartender could empty the spittoons while the customers went home for tea.

It was just busying up one evening,when suddenly the saloon doors.flew open...

 

I thought we were in the bar? You're confusing me now!

Is it a street bar?