Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Barry Haynes, Apr 8, 2016.
What did the bull from Rotherham say to the cow from Barnsley?
How do you like your uddersfield?
Due to the panic buying epidemic, supermarkets are limiting what customers are being allowed to purchase:
Sainsbury’s - 1 pack of toilet roll and 2 hand sanitizers.
Tesco - 2 packs of toilet roll and 3 hand sanitizers.
Aldi - 3 trumpets, 2 tents and a MIG welder.
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I came out of the loo, did up my zip and said,
"I'd give it 10 minutes if I were you"
The wife said, "Urgh...have you done a smelly poo?"
I said, " No, your sister's putting her knickers back on."
Hairdressers closed. Nail Salons closed. Tanning salons closed. Lash salons closed.
Its about to get ugly out there, stay safe!
I have told my significant other that in these times of toilet paper shortage we are going to have to restrain from our usual practice of ‘mopping up’ after coitus with toilet paper.
She wasn’t happy with my suggestion,..but me ending the conversation with the phrase “suck it up buttercup’ didn’t go down well....and now I’m using toilet paper to mop my bloody nose.
I can’t be arsed with thinking about it but there has to be a joke out there somewhere with Rod Stewart, the edible source of corona virus and ‘pandolin wind’
fill your boots.
Home schooling’s not going so well. 2 students expelled and 1 teacher in disciplinary for drinking on the job.
Due to a lack of Teachers in the greater London area school children are being advised to drink Famous Grouse instead.
Do love a dining room without windows and a kitchen with enough workspace for a paraplegic cat.
Sorry, professional force of habit!!
Bit picky for a joke
To all those bog roll hogging pillocks.
....and the dining room is apparently in the entrance hallway - but the door is probably glass so you will have light in your dining area
Germany is now advising people to stock up on sausages and cheese. They're calling this the Wurst Käse scenario.
(Dont bother, I've already got it on!)
Poor old Phil Schofield. Took so long to come out and now he’s got to stay in.
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