@Terrordales , you've gone highbrow! You've gone highbrow even though you know there is a risk you may cause TLB to implode!
Coats on. My torch broke so I took it to a repair shop run by four German brothers, all called Hans... Many Hans make light work!
I treated my missus last night and let her clean my medieval suit. well, she always said she wanted a night in, shining armour.
A teacher is attempting to educate a group of unruly teenagers and decides to set a question for a particular child called Billy Teacher - “Billy...If there are 5 birds sat on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many birds are left” Without a thought Billy replies - “That’s easy Miss. There are no birds left as the remainder fly off” The Teacher replies - “The correct answer is 4, but I like the way you think Billy” As the teacher turns to ask another pupil a question Billy quickly interrupts and asks the teacher if he could ask her a question and she agrees. “You are walking through a park Miss and it’s a hot summers day. As you pass by an ice cream vendor you see 3 women eating ice cream. One of the women is licking the ice cream, one is biting the ice cream and the third is sucking the ice cream. Which one of the 3 women is married?” The teacher becomes a little bit embarrassed by the question but reply’s saying “The one that’s sucking the ice cream is the one that’s married” Billy replies by saying “The correct answer is the woman wearing the wedding ring. But I like the way you think Miss”
ME: I can't get an erection DOCTOR: Do you struggle with the booze? ME [looks at GF] The booing is bad but the slow hand-clap's even worse
Me: “I’ve found a suitcase with 4 badgers in it in the woods” blue cross: “are they moving?” Me: “I don’t know, but that would explain the suitcase”
I went bird watching with Sinead O’Connor. We’ve seen seven owls and fifteen jays. (I’m sorry, alright? Even I’m pretty annoyed with me about this one. Just leave it, leave it alone. Ok?)
Due to the current pandemonium caused by sudden increases in panic buying and the subsequent 300% increase in foot traffic at supermarkets, Aldi have responded by opening checkout number 3.
