Joke

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Barry Haynes, Apr 8, 2016.

  1. Terrordales

    Terrordales Nightshift Admin

    I thought it was a pound cake .





    I'll fetch my coat.
     
    Soggz likes this.
  2. Is this @Barry Haynes .” Wife I’m sick of you , all you talk about is fishing and football “.
    Reply “well I’ve put up with you for five seasons time to change managers and dangle me worm in another swim !!
     
  3. spelling joke.jpg
     
    Gingerbus, Merlin Cat, Pony and 9 others like this.
  4. Terrordales

    Terrordales Nightshift Admin

    I know my coat is around here somewhere. :thinking:

    [​IMG]
     
    mjones1969, Merlin Cat, Pony and 4 others like this.
  5. My friend who's a female bodybuilder went to the doctor and said, 'Doctor i've taken so many steroids i've grown a penis'
    The doctor said, 'Anabolic'?
    She said, 'No just a penis'.
     
    Merlin Cat, F_Pantos, Dubs and 11 others like this.
  6. [​IMG]


    Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
     
  7. FB_IMG_1568529919389.jpg
     
    Merlin Cat, F_Pantos, Pony and 11 others like this.
  8. "what's the difference between a kangaroo and a kangaroot ?




    one's an Australian marsupial, the others a Geordie stuck in a lift".
     
  9. I think you will find that was the very first post in this thread :lol:
     
    Betty the Bay, Lazy Andy and JT1 like this.
  10. Terrordales

    Terrordales Nightshift Admin

    Medical humour.


    [​IMG]
     
  11. :eek:



    l've recently taken to eating pheasant in preference to venison.
    absolute game changer!
     
  12. I think this where I came in.
     
    Betty the Bay and Soggz like this.
  13. The ghost of Peter Osgood appears in the Chelsea changing rooms and talks to the team.

    They're all looking a little tired so he asks them what the trouble is..

    "Well, we're having trouble getting motivated for this game. We know it's important but it's only Tottenham, they're crap and we can't be bothered".

    Osgood looks at them and says "Well I know I died in 2006 but I reckon I can beat them by myself, you lads go down the pub."

    So Osgood goes out to play Tottenham by himself and the rest of the Chelsea squad go off for a few bevvies.

    After a few pints they wonder how the game is going, so they get the landlord to put the TV on.

    A big cheer goes up as the screen shows
    "Chelsea 1 (Osgood 10 minutes) – Tottenham Hotspur 0.

    He is beating Tottenham all by himself!

    Anyway, a few more beers later and the game is forgotten until someone remembers "It must be full time now, let's see how he got on" They put the TV on.

    "Result from Stamford Bridge: Chelsea 1 (Osgood 10 minutes) – Tottenham Hotspur 1 (Kane 89 minutes)".

    They can't believe it, he has single handedly got a draw against Tottenham!

    They rush back to the stadium to congratulate him. They find him in the dressing room, still in his gear, sat with his head in his hands.

    He refuses to look at them. "I've let you down I've let you down"

    "Don't be stupid Peter, you got a draw against Tottenham all by yourself. And they only scored at the very very end!"

    Osgood looks up through his tears and says "No, No, I have, I've let you down!. I got sent off after 12 minutes!
     
  14. Peter Osgood is dead! :eek:
     
  15. Oi
     
    Last edited: Sep 17, 2019
  16. Didn’t see that coming!!
     
    Barry Haynes likes this.
  17. For all the teachers on here.

    An Ofsted inspector was visiting a rural school and rather than ask boring maths questions she asked a young lad to look out of the window.
    She asked him how many sheep could he see.

    He replied:

    "All of 'em "
     
    Merlin Cat and the2ems like this.
  18. Man goes into a chemist for some deodorant.
    “Ball or aerosol?”, the chemist says.
    “Neither”, replies the man...
    “I want it for my armpits”...
     
  19. Ronnie Barker, classic.
     
    the2ems likes this.
  20. Not the nine o’clock news.
     

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