Today is Tell an Old Joke Day

2 monkeys get into a bath, the first one says "ooh ooh ooh aah aah", the second one says "put some cold in"

 

Some of these are so old Methusalah was in short pants when they were first told

 

What did Himler say to his men before they got into their tanks?

"get in your tanks men"!

 

What do you call a donkey with 3 legs.

A wonkey

 

Tommy Cooper
Have a lovely little car so small when a mosquito bit me i had to get out to let my arm swell up.
Lovely car two tone red and rust,


Could he be driving a camper for the last one?

 

At least as old as Moses, who strangely used to like old British motorbikes - his triumph was heard through the desert...

 

Skeleton walks into bar. The barman says "The usual?". Skeleton says "Yep, pint of lager and a floorcloth".

 

Two nuns talking. One says "Y'know, it's a long time since Benedictus"...

 

The people of Aden, Arabia, Kuwait, Eygypt do not like the Flintstones! But the people of Abu Dabhi Dooooo!

 

What do you call an Eskimo with 10 Balaclavas on??? Anything you like he can't hear you!!

 

How does Bob Marley like his doughnuts........... With jam in...........get it wiv jamin..,.,.....................



I'll get mi coat

 

I wouldn't give up your day job just yet...

 

@bernjb56 why did you do it , they only need the slightest bit of encouragement

 

What do hippy horses eat ?

Hay man

 

Whats the most common Owl in Great Britain ?

A Teat owl

 

Knock Knock

Whos there

Mikey

Mikey who

Mikey doesnt fit in the keyhole

 

Man with his dog in the pub ,dog starts licking his parts ,drunk walks over n says to the owner , i wish i could do that , he said if you ask him nicely he might let ya

 

This is a cracking joke....

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/1995-TOYO...rg=20140131123801&rk=2&rkt=15&sd=331264985885

 

Might I suggest a saucy seaside postcard day?

 

Why didn't the skeleton jump of a cliff....

He had no guts