Today is Tell an Old Joke Day

We all know someone for whom every day is Tell An Old Joke Day, but there’s now a day when we can all put aside our reticence and let rip with our own ‘I say, I say, I say’ and ‘Knock, knock’ chestnuts.

Tell An Old Joke Day is your opportunity to raise the nervous wreck from the quivering depths, bring the awful-smelling noseless dog back in from the cold, and press the button for the chicken stuck forever at the pedestrian crossing. Like any endangered species, old jokes must reproduce if they are not to die out entirely, and the old ones are supposed to be the best, anyway.

There may be a lot of groaning from initiates, but there’s no joke so old that at least one person hasn’t heard it yet. Why should they be allowed to escape the suffering of the rest of us?

 

How do you know an elephant has been in your fridge ?

Footprints in the butter......

 

what's yellow and dangerous?
shark infested custard.

 

Horse walks into a bar
The bar man says why such a long face.

 

Man walks into a bar...


Ouch!

 

Knock knock

Who's there

Boo

Boo who

No need to cry its only a joke

 

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."

The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me." The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."

 

two nuns driving down the road when they get cut up by another driver
one nun says to the other one show him your cross
so she gets out the car and jumps up and down on his bonnet while screaming at him

 

what do you call a french man in sandels

philip- folop

 

did you hear about the dyslexia pimp that bought a warehouse

 

why isnt there any telephones in china

because theres to many wings and theres to many wongs and they might wing the wong number

 

Works better if you tell it properly

Some people only know old jokes & as for me I can't tell the jokes I do know because I'd have to give myself a ban from TLB

 

i dont know what you mean

 

Two teddy bears in an airing cupboard - which one is in the army?

The one on the tank!

 

two goldfish in a tank one says to the other one how do you drive this

 

two birds sitting on a perch one says to the other one can you smell fish

 

bit of a long one sorry!.....(no pun intended).

A young man in love with his girlfriend decided to have her name tattooed on his old chap. Wendy, when the tattooist finished it said WY. The tattooist explained he had to get excited to show her the full WENDY.
Few weeks later while at the pub he goes to the toilets, and standing next to him was a big black fella who he just happened to glance at his plonker and noticed he also had a W Y Tattooed on.
"Oh is your girlfriend named Wendy too?"
"No, Man. it says Welcome to Jamaica Have a Nice Day".

 

what goes 99 bonk 99 bonk
centipede with a wooden leg.

 

what goes 100 bonk 100 bonk
centipede with a hard on.

 

What's white and can't climb trees?



A fridge