Waiter: “good evening sir, would you like to hear the specials?” Me: “yes please” Waiter: “This town (aaaah) is coming like a ghost town”
Today I swapped our double bed for a trampoline. I haven’t told the wife yet. She’s gonna hit the roof
People said that, being dyslexic, I’d never be able to do poetry. Look who’s laughing now! This week I’ve made 3 tea cups and a vase!
I went to donate sperm the other day and the lady asked me “would you masturbate in the cup please?” I thought ‘crikey, I’m good at it, but am I ready for that level of competition?’
i got sent one today on me phone but don t know how to put it on , durex box with curry flavored condoms spice up your sex life
iandian walking through BELFAST got stop with belfast local , HI you where are you from yes sir iam frm DELI belfast man says hi mucker up here we call it londonderry
As I lay there bleeding, battered and broken in the wreck of my car, a policeman looked through where the window should be and tutted “been drinking, have we sir?”. “Yes”, I replied through the pain “Well next time, take a taxi instead of letting your wife drive”
