What the hell is the point of a bagel?

Eh? Why deny yourself the extra nourishment? Why eat something with a big flipping hole in it? Just eat a roll. Or a piece of toast. I don't understand bagels

 

I don't eat them. Too Jewish.

 

Coincidence? the last bagel I refused to eat was a brand called Solly Finklesteins

 

it's so people who have a bagel setting on their toasters can actually use it!

 

I avoid Otis Spunkmeyer cookies as well.

 

They taste different if they are real bagels. The dough is put in boiling water before cooking and it gives the outside a more chewy consistency. I have been studying them for years.

I've tried making my own twice, and ended up with frisbies

 

Do they not coat them in sodium hydroxide (aka drain cleaner) as well, to improve the taste? Heard that, don't think I dreamt it.

 

I eat a fair few of them
Most often with loads of unhealthy filling

 

I believe that must have been a dream. I actually have looked at a load of different recipes before I mad my frisbies and never came across that

 

Aha bagels therefore are a result of a capitalist society.



We need to sell more toasters.
How?
Tell people there's. a bagel function
What's a bagel?
Not important, somebody will invent another unnecessary bread product


Look honey I got the new toaster, it's got a bagel function
What's a bagel?
Don't know


Honey, next door have a new toaster. It's got a bagel function
What's a bagel?
Don't know, but if they've got one we need one.


Meanwhile, at Finklesteins Jewish family bakery.........
Have you seen those new toasters with a bagel function?
What's a bagel?
Don't know, let's invent a stoopid bread product and call it a bagel. We could make a fortune.......then start a bank.....
I know, let's rip off the customers by putting a hole in the bagel, then we only spend half as much making it, but charge extra because its a fancypants bread product, therefore making even more money



Etc etc

 

Bagels have a long tradition, that stems from pre-Christian times. Originally known a Bahel, they were used as ritualistic offerings in a Zoroastrian religious ceremony, to celebrate 'Kinshaph' or 'the coming together' of body and spirit, hence the circular shape. Traditionally made from unlevened dough (ie yeast free) culinary historians believe the 'circle' theme was adopted by later religions, while some argue that the 'hole' surrounded by something else (in this case dough) is more likely to have been derived from eastern buddhist philosophy, more in keeping with C'han or 'Zen' buddhism....ie the hole doesn't exist, unless it is made manifest by its surroundings. The fact that it is edible supports this idea that bagels were infact Indo-Chinese in origin, pre dating Zoroastrian usage by several centuries, because the act of 'consuming the surroundings' is one of the first principles of Buddhist doctrine.




You can read more about it here www.http://I'vejustmadethisup.com

 

You just don't understand

 

They also keep so well and cooking fuel was so scarce communitys used to come together to share resources to cook a batch

You bring the flour ill bring the wood and ill build the clay oven etc
Its amazing what bridges can be gapped when times get hard

 

I heard something like that or is that pretzels, but it was definitely acid or something similar on baked goods of some description, could just google it but am too lazy. Think it may have been the hairy bikers who enlightened me to this useless fact

 

Heresy!

Bantam Bagels is a new kind of bagelry, serving mini bagel balls that are filled instead of topped. That's right, we're going there! Change the way you bagel.

http://www.bantambagels.com

 

There is no such thing as an unnecessary bread product. FACT!!!!!

 

ive heard you can play games with them too

 

It may be pretzels - I'm sure it's true. I'll investigate.

In the meantime, no reason why @bernjb56 shouldn't give his bagels a lick of Mr Muscle...

 

It is pretzels, it's what gives them their dark brown colour