Do you have a super power?

I discovered today that I can cut exactly the right amount of cheese off a block to cover every cracker on a plate, with no leftover cheese or cracker and without counting the crackers. Nailed it for me, Mrs_t and mini_t at lunch today, 3 out of 3. Even did it when the crackers were loaded on to the plate for me; a quick glance at the crispy offering and I knew.

Needless to say, I didn’t get the recognition I deserved. But after 38 years on this planet, I have finally discovered my true calling in life.

 

Mine is nearly doing it right.

 

Lockdown better end soon, or we’ll all go mad

 

You need to get out...

 

It would appear I have the ability to turn solid objects into an orangy brown powder.. seems to only effect some metals at the moment but I'll see if i can develop it..

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I NEED MORE CHEESE

 

What are you like for getting the spaghetti amounts right .

 

shocking. Typically get around 3 X what we need, but it means lunch the next day usually

 

It’s impossible. Same goes for pasta. You’re eating the stuff for days...

 

I do the same with rice, I must chuck a bag's worth in the composter, for every five, or so, bags I manage eat. Wasn't so bad when I had the dug, as he loved it with his tripe.

 

What's a dug?

 

Maybe an affectionate name for his pet dugong? Not sure that they eat tripe though

 

He must have a decent size fish pond

 

Some people, eh? They think the world stops at Scotch Corner. Have you never been to Scotland, man? Hellooooo, you won't fall over the edge, if you come this far North, you know?

 

Super power=

The ability to clear the pub/club of attractive women the moment I walk in

I don't even wear a cape or glasses

 

I think you are leaning too heavily on the crackers side!

 

There's a big wall to climb over

 

I'll let you know where the locals built the tunnel, you'll be fine. After all, a Yorkshireman is just a Scotsman but with longer pockets

 

Being a Yorkshireman living in Scotland, I can see both sides of that debate