Old farts roll call

Meh...... I'm still here

 

At the grand old age of 34 I listen to 5 live on the radio as I cannot abide radio 1 or any commercial station. I found myself using the "when I were your age" line whilst addressing an employee of mine the other day. I have slippers and pjs, can't relax in the house without them and my wife can't stand it when I rant on about politics, religion or conspiracy. I started going bald at the age of 21 and I also have to control my nostril hair. Do I qualify?

 

I also fell asleep in the cinema the other week, ten minutes into the film and it couldn't have been any later than 8-8.30pm.

 

I'm still about but can't remember why I am here.

We have been invited to centre parcs today but tbh I rather sit and watch then join in with the younger folks.

 

can I be in ,over 40, have an eye brow hair as thick as coat hanger which grows overnight and sticks out at a funny angle..always have a dribble of wee however hard shake/stand and love Time Team.

 

Still here, usual delay...couldn't find which knob turns this thing on.

 

Ooooh! This feels like home.
In no particular order:-
I don't remember 30 or 40 or last week or indeed what I was just talki................Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
But when I was a boy we only had three TV channels in Black and White and we walked to school in all weathers and got given milk at break time.
Both knees have long since ceased to work, along with one hand, I've a dodgy back, poor eyesight, weak bladder, minor heart attack, arthritus, depression, gout, excess hair, allergies and a general feeling of grumpiness.
I've got shorter and rounder despite eating and drinking less (I blame the Govt, supermarkets and Al Quaeda) and seem to have to live near a toilet.
I have also started buying clothes that fit me rather than look good, I judge most things by comfiness rather than name/label and drink tea like the world is about to end. (Which it probably soon will, knowing my luck 30 seconds after winning the lottery, which I don't do anyway)
I hate Xmas, birthdays and discos, listen to Radio 2 and watch BBC2. Victor Meldrew was far too cheerful for my liking!
That'll do for now but I'm sure there's more!

 

Hmm could be full of adolescents but go and join in, shove em out the way if need be, use your elbows when it comes to queue for the flumes.

 

yep Matalan and Primark ,,and start asking" you paid how much for those jeans"

 

At least a bus pass eases the cost of travelling to such emporiums.

 

I thought I would break down the attributes needed for membership to see howi was doing.

1: old - I'm 52 which I like to think is the new 32 but find myself saying "back in the day" rather too often
2: fart - Guilty as charged I'm afraid. I normally try to blame my daughters when I let one go which is "hilarious" as you can imagine. Oh how we laugh.
3: member of TLB - yes but not one of the sharpest knives in the block as I only just worked out what MOTTLBOFC means.

I also find myself harrumphing at how much loved old series e.g Batman with Adam West get turned into a series of films, only for those films to be remade again and again. back in my day people had original ideas not like the outhouse of today.

I have fond memories of pogoing around to the Sex Pistols which is the year my bus was made! Oh yes , my hair has fallen out so I have taken to wearing a small child on my head instead of a toupee.

what do you think? do I qualify?

 

Sorry you lot, I should qualify easily,50 this year, bit of arthritis and a few of the other traits but:-
I don't want to join, I've got all my hair and plenty of it, all my own teeth, I don't need to stand in front of a mirror to see my c##k, the highlight of my year is the annual mountain biking trip to southern Spain with my mates where we bike every day and drink every night till about 4am, one of the guys is 71 this year and still going strong!

Mid life crisis! Probably, who cares, I'm hoping to keep going at full speed then drop dead suddenly!

 

Nooooo, don't make me join, I'm not ready for this!!