What do I do with...cash

Flogged a few surplus bathroom fittings on Gumtree and now I've got a great wad of cash in my pocket. Since the advent of contactless, I haven't used cash for months, if not years. It's weird.

What do I do with it?

 

Use it to insulate your loft ,in a ken Dodd manor

 

Spend it on Stella (beer not bird) you will get a bad back sitting on the wonk.

 

Buy yourself that slinky little number you had your eye on for ages in the Oxfam next to Waitrose. It is party season Rich after all

 

I have a friendly mechanic who services and Mot's my close family's cars .... he likes to relieve me of my cash.
I must say that I withdrew some cash this week to go in Christmas cards of nephews and neices... it was my 1st cash withdrawal this year.

 

The only loft to be impounded by HMRC.

 

Under tin biscuit bed the.

(I put it in code so no-one else knows)

 

All those years at GCHQ have really paid off, Mark

 

Mum always said I was the clever one.

 

Laugh! Make me don’t!

 

Have you thought about taking that long taxi tour around East Grinstead that you’ve always promised yourself. Maybe stop on the way a purchase some eel from a local person.

 

Car boots sales at every opportunity , Drug dealers , Landscapers , plumbers , builders , plasterers , and so on . Can't all be straight your way surely . Oh forgot ..street corner ladies .

 

Spend it on cheese.

 

Send it to me I will take the burden from you

 

You could probably get a big pile of PPE pretty cheap & still have some left over for chips & gravy on the way home

 

A Nigerian Prince will be along shortly

 

Under the mattress, it will do better than your pension fund.

 

You could go in a Chinese nail bar and have your nails done
They only deal in cash

 

is that in code as well?

 

Stock up on cheese and egg flan and lard (organic low fat) from your local Waitrose before the shelves are empty.

Don't forget to use your loyalty card, you know it makes sense .