Waitrose pffft

I'm in waitWait rose ,and I'm looking for walnut whips ,the two staff I asked had no understanding of the concept.I was treated with a certain of mistrust and concern when I told them that a walnut whip was part of the heritage of this country,
Now safely in the car park I can see an elderly couple arguing over a packet of crisps.
BTW they don't sell walnut whips ,but the do a fine selection in M and S

 

Waitrose don’t encourage...tradesmen...using their shop.

 

I think Jive did his best to disguise himself, nice suit, pair of classic brown brogues, that sort of thing.


Sadly he left a pencil behind his ear......no self respecting Waitrose staff member was going to fall for that now we’re they?

 

He was inspecting the plumbing on the refrigeration units. It was the tooth-sucking that gave him away...

 

Waitrose do do organic tofu and jojoba whips, BTW.

 

If they were of the younger generation they may not have heard of walnut whips so may have eyed you suspiciously.
Did they suggest Anne Summers or Love Honey?


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"Might I suggest you try the Pound Shop, Sir?"

 

I always keep a pencil behind both ears, so that I dont have to remember where to find one.i even wear them in bed to keep up appearances

 

Got t

Got them now ,I knew m and s wouldn't let me down.

 

the pound shop do walnut whips...
@Barry Haynes gets his at Ann summers

 

M&S how common

 

Needs must

 

If I see a "tradesman" or - God forbid - someone from the north of England in Waitrose, I normally point them in the direction of Greggs.

 

They

They don't understand me in Gregg's as I'm from darn sarf and I live up norf .they talk about strange things as well .like do you want sauce on your bitch

 

Maybe because there's no such thing as a WALNUT WHIP anymore ...
They took the WALNUT out of the equation about 2 years ago and there just called WHIP now .

On a similar vein though . I worked with people and on a regular basis we went into people's houses and they were filthy homes . I often said to colleagues to the effect "Don't they know what STARDROPS is . I was surprised to find quite often my colleagues didn't even know .

 

Stride into Greggs and say "A vegan sausage roll, my man, and a copy of the Guardian".

 

You need to learn how to say
Aw mooch

 

Did you tell them you've had a dog and bone up the elephant and castle?

 

“Waitrose!”


Isn’t that what Jack said before she freed him with that fire axe she found on the wall, when the water was rising?













Cryptic...

 

Round our way the tradesmen drive the Beemers and own new T5 vans, after doing building work for the people who extend their houses on an annual basis as their children grow bigger. Ordinary folk shop in Tescos, and the zombies shop in Lidl.

And the local big supermarket in Park Gate is a Waitrose, its actually the closest supermarket to me , about 3km but 500 metres of that is the River Hamble.