One morning, when Gregor Samsa's car woke from troubled dreams, it found itself transformed on the road into a horrible beetle. It lay on his armour-like back, and it could see its brown belly, slightly domed and divided by arches into stiff sections. Its four wheels, pitifully thin compared with the size of the rest of it, waved about helplessly as it looked.
Well, let's put it this way mon cher ....... the voiture is now the correct way up for when we visit Australie.
Insurance report will state 'I was driving in blizzard conditions with ice on the bending road when a black dog ran out in front of me. A oncoming car in outside lane cut me up causing me to brake into the rear of a containing a group of insurance fraudster who braked. I clipped the curb and the flipped over. It wasn't my fault, honest.' I must say that having been to a number of accidents, I'd love to know how the car came to rest, on its roof, 90 degrees to the traffic on a straight, dry road in the day time.
I was travelling at 28mph when I hit a tree travelling in the opposite direction.............. Jasper Carrott Insurance claim sketch, circa 1980.
Using my GCSE level french I reckon its: "Allo mon cherie, any chance you could bringy-vous me some new pantelons sill-vooz-plat, moi suffer une momente merde....." It should be noted that languages were not my strong point.
