I used to have a giant old Honda CRV. Fab old thing and built of pig iron. Parked in the row behind me was an older guy in a Carmen Ghia. I waited as he was backing out - and he drove right into the rear corner of the Honda. Course only a bit of dried mud fell off my car but a huge chunk of his rear wing practically vapourised. I was about to be sympathetic but the ar$e started ranting that I’d backed into HIM. Boiled red face, windmilling arms, the works. So I marched him into Waitrose (for it was that oasis of civilisation) and demanded to see the cctv. And there it was. Me totally stationary, him reversing into me. I tried not to give him that triumphal “now lychee off, you opportunist git” look but I may have failed.