Shame outside forces have had to get involved, intermediarys need to be well trained and see both sides but once the "big guns " get involved then it can get a bit over the top and out of control . Other people telling you what you can and cant do with your child is a red rag to anybody not just an "abuser" or who ever. The trouble is they dont know which way to turn and then if your not careful they look for the friend in other shapes or forms . Most dont learn till they make a big mistake , for some then its too late . It will never go away its just learning to deal with it in the best way you can and going and kicking them "might "make you feel better but could also see you in clink too, bye dad bye grandad not good huh.Take care i know the feeling .
I have been in one of these refuges. Let her go, whilst they will look after her for a few days, she'll be VERY VERY glad to come back and behave.
Basically, without resorting to kidnapping we couldn't keep her here against her will. However we're on relatively calm waters at the moment so, fingers crossed.
@sANDYbAY if I can be serious for a mo, I had a very similar problem as you Bob, my eldest daughter was being physically and mentally abused by her partner, every time it happened she would come home, then would go back to him, the last time she went back, they came over to spend Christmas Day with us, I asked him to come out to the garage so he could help me bring in some extra chairs, when we were outside I grabbed him and told him very calmly if he ever hurt my daughter again I would kill him and gladly go to prison for the sake of my daughter and grand kids, I think he got the message, it was 3 years before he hit her again and apparently he pleaded with my daughter not to tell me, she left him for good after that
It is a very complex relationship that your daughter and mine had with their respective thugs. There is something called 'traumatic bonding' which basically messes with their heads. I'm learning lots about domestic violence from various sources at the moment.
Lots of things shouldn't be spoken of on a public forum but I'm presently doing odd bits of diy around the house and I'm so forgetful that I seem to be leaving hammers and screwdrivers all over the place.
I had this some years ago with a chap bullying my wife at work. Basically did the same thing. I think my words were. ' If you speak, talk about or look at Lou again I will make a mess of you boy' Don't say I never warned you! He behaved very well towards her after that.