I'm living in a bloody war zone

lol i just put the reply up and she ha ha had changed it to merlincat

 

No I edited it because there were other posts between mine and hers so it was ambiguous.

 

you could a got me in trubble then

 

BOB BOB im a little worried only as someone who worked in the RAF you say its a bloody war zone their you havnt dropped one have you

 

Let her do the cooking.

 

Flipping heck Bob reading thru that I was wondering if you was rescuing her or her partner?

I feel for ya bud & wish I had something useful to say, wise move venting here & not at home!

Let's hope things start to calm down & everything works out for everyone!

Just make sure the grand kiddies ok your daughter sounds like she can look after herself, some people thrive on volatility and some are attracted to those types of partners & relationships!

My sister was one of those but luckily none physical, I've rescued her a few times over the years unfortunately but she good now


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are you sure the boyfriend is or was what she says , sounds like she likes to dish it out , is she telling u what she wants ye to hear , usssssssssssssssssssssss men always get the raw end of lady sticks

 

Bad situation....you just have to ride it out until she comes to her senses.She sounds very irrational at the moment...and whatever you say in a "discussion" will be misconstrued and turned against you.Offer to keep the dog so she can relocate into a one bedroom flat to get her life back together.Is your grandchild OK?You are in a very delicate situation.Your daughter may have some undiagnosed mental health problems exacerbated by her life choices.Remember to support your wife through this....you deserve a happy retirement.

 

Consider that she has ( regardless of abuse) just lost the love of her life and the father of her child and the child has lost their daddy too, they are and will continue to be very upset for some considerable time, in the the background she has the knowledge that you can't/ don't approve of him so your right, she's wrong etc. it's harder on her than you and her emotions / thoughts of future stability, where to live, being a single parent and So on, still in the knowledge that regardless of leaving him she will never ever truly get away from him, they have a child together. Disapproving of him is obvious but it's not going to solve anything, you need to
Concentrate on her and your grandson and try not to focus touch on the who's to blame , she's still a little girl and your still her daddy, you need to look after her emotionally and try to get through the current difficult patch for you all, but showing anger to an abused person is just going to make her subcontously fearful and in an environment where she doesn't really need to fear for abusive consequences she's going to
Let rip for every time she's had to accept the abuse in the past, it's obviously much more complicated than a weeks worth is going fix or even scratch the surface of, it will take years to fully recover if ever and fighting with the safest most loving people she's got is making it much harder. Patience, understanding and love is the answer, maybe take them Both away for a few days or let her have a day or 2 in the house alone, you could go away, gives a bit of breathing space for you both.

Ps if she's fit I think @Lord Congi is single, he seems the submissive type too, she can bend his ear day and night and he will just sit in his deck chair chillin xx

 

Spot on David,

 

Well, an interesting evening last night. The Neanderthal turned up smashing on the door demanding to come in and see my daughter. He'd disappeared by the time the police turned up but we had the police here from 9 last night until about two this morning taking statements from me and my daughter. They've issued an arrest warrant for him so he should be picked up sometime today. They were talking about obtaining an injunction preventing him coming into our town.

 

First of all, good luck and hang in here.
The vast majority of domestic abuse cases involving the police are dropped because the victim withdraws their statement because they feel sorry for him or in the mistaken belief, he will change his ways. Only a very few make it to court by the time CPS have a sniff. To be fair the legal profession realise how important it into prosecute in domestic matters so should not drop the matter on a whim. The really important thing is that your daughter does not drop the matter.
As I said, good luck and all that.

 

They did say that, hopefully we'll be able to keep her focused and determined.

 

Sorry to read of this Bob,
Looks like you have some good advice from folks on here..
Good luck to you and family...

 

when I was younger , I lived in a house shared by 4 people ,the girl upstairs was in a relationship with a guy called Gary ...

He was such a good bloke , but once he had a drink he was a nightmare not just his girlfriend, he was fighting with us...

Once night he ended up in my room with his girlfriend ,he had a knife to her throat (he was under the influence) the police came and he got locked up for 24 months ...

10 months later he was out and dating the girl...

I moved out...

It is difficult to anyone in this situation ,my heart goes out to you...

 

Yes, there are some very wise people on TLB. Remember folks TLB is not just for Christmas campervans.

 

Sounds to me like your daughter really needs her Mum and Dad . Be strong , be objective , try and take the emotion out of any discussion . Hard I know , really feel for you all .

 

I was going to say something like this except the bit about Cong.... anyway focus on the child who won't really understand what is going on. A lot of love & patience is needed at a time like this.... & the abuser needs a good kicking! Good luck

 

i might be single soon if @Lord Congi is free