I'm living in a bloody war zone

Three days left then.

 

Want me to break the news ?

 

Well it had started calming down a little bit but then Rebecca used the phone to contact a women's refuge and when her mum tried to talk her out of it she told her she's selfish because we won't throw out our tenants and put her in the house. That's evidence that we don't care about her.

 

See my last post ^^^ don't think it'll go the full week.

 

Still, on the bright side, the argument is going on in the dining room and I'm not involved at the moment. I expect I'll get all the blame though.

 

Hope she comes round Bob! Good luck

 

Selfish ?
The irony.

 

.

 

She doesn't get common sense at the moment let alone irony. Do you think I should point out that we're helping her by letting her use our phone?

 

Got on, dare you

 

tell your daughter that you love and care for her and you are willing to help if you can, but tell her that bad words aimed at you are hurtful and not justified. as said, its no fun but somehow you have to let the nastiness aimed at you bounce off and try not to take it personally.

we are human beings and emotional and often we hit out at the ones closest to us, it looks like a cry for help to me.

I am old now, but I have brought up 2 kids and suffered some of their relationship difficulties but after divorce some years ago, I can distance myself from most of the issues and let my ex deal with it.

I am in a peaceful place now.

In your situation, as the emotions calm down which they will then some form of solution if only temporary should be found.

Maybe some third party counselling and advice for you all may help.

 

Did she ask to be collected or did you force her to leave the partner and come with you?
Sounds like she's just lashing out as she is probably scared to death about what's going, I have physically had to remove partners from domestic abuse situations or arrested the abuser to have the person who was beaten black and blue drop any charges, it's really hard for those caught up in it to see the wood for the trees.
As others have said give her time, I'm sure you didnt raise her to be nasty it's learned behaviour which will subside once she feels safe again.
Give every one space, support her, talk to your wife and agree that it's not your fault and stick together. Anyone who cuts short the holiday of a lifetime to come home to be with his family has a good marriage. you will be OK don't lose sight that you have done the right thing.

 

If she feels like youv'e done the wrong thing by taking her away from all ,offer to take her back and get on with it or calmly tell her the facts , thats without raising your voice ,

 

She phoned in floods of tears begging me to go and help her move out. I've done that four times over the last three years and each time she went back to him. Twice the police were involved. I'm listening to the argument rage in the next room and apparently it's our choice not to give our tenants notice and we prefer the tenants to our own daughter.
It sounds like she's going to go back to the abusive partner because we won't kick our tenants out so its all our fault if she gets murdered. The trouble is Jan is getting sucked in by all the emotional blackmail and I'm cast as the heartless b**** who doesn't care what happens to his daughter.

 

No, she wanted to get away from him. I've stopped talking altogether now, there's very little point talking to someone who is so irrational and hard done by.

 

pm a local link fella

 

She'll either grow up or not, stay here until we can sort a house for her or not, go back to smeg head or not, run off to a refuge or not, cut us out of her life or not. Whatever.