I had the same issue earlier in the year with my Mum (who used to live near Kenny Hill). Kept hinting but she forgot as soon as it had been said. In the end I took her there and said what do you reckon? She couldn't wait to move in! Absolutely loves it! Is brighter and more with it than I've seen in years, loads of new friends, excellent facilities, well cared for, safe, etc etc. The biggest hurdle is getting them in the door.
I don't know about your mum but my dad has lived in the same house for 48 years and is holding it together with a strict routine and familiarity. If I stick my finger in the works at any point it causes varying amounts of confusion and stress. If I add things that seems OK though. He has said he appreciates that he trusts me to decide when the time is right for a move. We're edging towards that gradually but as yet I haven't said that the time is NOW. See how he likes the next place, the first wasn't nice, he and I didn't like. I hope he remembers and compares, but fat chance of that. Fingers crossed.
Mum had been up there for 15 years, it was after dad went that she went downhill. Any change causes stress so rather than prolong it we went for the "shock and awe" tactic of changing everything at once (with her agreement), it's worked out really well, new home, new furniture, new wardrobe, new friends, new area, she kept all the things she really wanted from her old life but embraced the new and the change, it has been like the start of a new life for her, like I said she is soooooo much better, more alive, still mad as a box of frogs though but in her own words "I hadn't realised how useless and miserable I'd become". We know it won't last forever, decay is inevitable but it has certainly made her life better and happier and consequently ours as well.
We had this with my aunt and once dementia had set in, it was only the fact that she knew her house and neighbourhood so well that allowed her to carry on. We tried moving her nearer to us so she had some support, but she couldn't cope with the new surroundings. Of course, she was with it enough to be able to flatly refuse to go into a care home - after her first stroke she had a spell in one but refused to stay in long term. It was only after a fall and a period in hospital that her mental capacity went so far down that a home was an option as she basically didn't know where she was any more. I suspect that a move to sheltered housing before dementia started would have given her a longer period of independence, but she would never have volunteered to leave her house at that stage. Maybe a lesson for the rest of us, who no doubt would also refuse to face reality until it was too late.
Nail on head. Might be best to leave him in the house until he's ga-ga, but then he'd be a danger to himself. Tricky.
Could you get someone to go in once a day to make sure he's OK and maybe cook one decent meal? You can sell this as avoiding the need to move. My aunt refused this too, if they're stubborn about it (which they have every right to be), you just have to wait for the ga-ga option.
Hopefully he will be less trouble than your aunt. He signed his rights (power of attorney) over to me and younger brother last year and does trust us to decide for him. He knows he has dementia and accepts this and our making decisions for him as unavoidable. Elder brother is too easily impressed by money and status so he doesn't get a say though we have to inform him of any decisions we make.
He hasn't been eating properly. Main meal at lunch then a snack for tea. I've been cooking an evening meal for a week with the excuse that it's when I'm used to eating my main meal. Every evening he eats more. Tonight he helped himself to slices of a large home made bacon and mushroom quiche until he'd eaten half of it. He's stopped dozing off in the afternoon and evening.
Same with my aunt, lost interest in looking after herself. She walked out of one home after a stroke but couldn't manage at home, so she lived with us for 3 months. Ate everything we put in front of her and got a lot healthier.
