Had to be done. Van Morrisson. 2 hours late, ignored the audience, played/mumbled the words for 40 minutes while frowning, no encore, miserable git! Must have decided to work to rule. Then, another time was life and soul, played for about 3 hours. I suppose it evened out.
James Brown Lea Valley Park around 1992ish the band came on, they played for about 25 mins before JB came on stage and sang one song, then he went off stage the band did another 15 minutes of instrumental, then JB was back again did Living in America punctuated by a virtuoso solo from jsut about every member of the very large band. Then JB went off again and the band carried on, then eh came back on and did pretty much all of the previous song again. We were about 90 mins into the set he'd done two songs, I'm not saying it was bad but.... it's the only time I've ever had to queue to get out of the arena area while the headline act is still playing. Twice more after that I gave him a chance, twice more those gigs were dreadful.
This is quite tricky really, I've been to see hundreds of bands and I can't think of another bad one, musicians generally seem to try pretty hard. Happy Mondays were about 4 hours late but they were excellent when they finally got it together. A bit of a theme there, Gregory Isaacs - 6 hours late, 4am I ask you! But again, worth the wait.
The Orb, Brixton Academy. To be fair, there was nothing wrong with them, apart from Aphex twin was on first, and played loads of mad stuff, so little fluffy clouds etc was dull as dishwater after that.
Went to see a local singing dustman ‘ Eddie Wrench’ at the boars head Kidderminster. Jeez I actually paid a fiver each for us!
The UK Pink Floyd Experience. We were convinced to go with some friends. My god it was so dire. I'm not a Floyd fan but our friends were and even they said it was bad. All album tracks you've never heard of and no energy or stage presence at all. Like a group of bored teenagers who could not have given a toss.
Oh this is going to be another head scratcher!! I played in a couple of bands and had a handful of gigs to very small crowds - in fact on one occasion the definition of crowd may have been a loose interpretation! But I don’t think those were the worse. as Zed says, most of the time musicians have put the effort in and are there on merit…. But I’m sure there’s a bum experience in the locker somewhere.
For my mates 50th a few years ago we went to see Ian McNabb, formerly of 80s indie band The Icicle Works at a venue in Milton Keynes. When he came on to a whopping crowd of around 100 it was obvious straightaway that he could barely sing a note. He gamely ploughed through about 3 songs but eventually had to admit defeat and abandon the gig though to his credit he didn't just sneak off out the backdoor, he came and joined us all in the bar and was happy to have a drink with us and talk about his career. The best bit about the night was the minibus trip we'd arranged to and from the venue, it had a great soundsystem we plugged a phone into and we loaded it up with copious amounts of booze.
If we're including gigs you've played at yourself, then it's a toss up between... The wedding where the only people to turn up to the evening do were the bride, groom and maid of honour. Being a trio we luckily didn't outnumber the guests! We didn't know where to put ourselves. The wedding where all of the guests (and the band) were detained in the room for an hour or so while the police investigated the crime scene. The brother of the groom had beaten his father unconscious! I really don't like playing at weddings. They usually don't live up to the hype and are darned hard work for the entertainers
Mine was Van Morrisson too. No audience interaction at all, came on, sang as if he didnt want to be there, and walked off without a word. He was supported by Joan Armatrading and she was brilliant! Second worse one was Paul Simon. The only thing he said to the audience in a dull monotone voice was "happy to be here". He went through his set with no enthusiam and left with no word or encore. He was so dull!
Novana. A Nirvana tribute band at The Fleece in Bristol. It was ok, but the sound system was pretty crubbish.
PIL at King Gorges in Blackburn in the early 80s. about an hour late on stage. 20 minutes in Johnny made on of his "ever think you've been swindled" type remarks ... walked off and didn't come back on. there was a chant of Lyddon is a Wayne Kerr which lasted about as long as the gig and then it all kicked off. a group got back stage but couldn't find him an were eventually chucked back into the main hall by some hefty looking geezers. Actually... changed my mind... it was actually quite good!
My first ever gig on the drums, end of the first song, last bar, my drum stool collapsed. Luckily as I was going down I hit the cymbal correctly on the very last note. I don't think any of the 3 punters noticed.
