Dave wanted to buy a motorbike. He doesn't have much luck until, one day; he comes across a used BMW R1200GS with a 'For Sale' sign on it. The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is a few years old. It is shiny and in absolute mint condition. He immediately buys it, and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition. "Well, it's quite simple, really," says the seller, "whenever the bike is outside and it's going to rain, rub Vaseline all over it. This protects it from the rain." And he hands Dave a jar of Vaseline. That night, his girlfriend, Carmel, invites him over to meet her parents. Naturally, they take the bike there. But just before they enter the house, Carmel stops him and says, "I have to tell you something about my family before we go in." "When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the first person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes." "No problem," he says. And in they go. Well Dave is shocked. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes. They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word. As dinner progresses, Dave decides to take advantage of the situation. So he leans over and kisses Carmel - a great big "tongue down the throat" snog. No one says a word. So he reaches over and fondles her breasts. Still, nobody says a word. So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table, and has his way with her right there, in front of her parents. Carmel is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and her mother horrified but when he sits back down, no one says a word. He looks at her mother. "She's got a great body," he thinks So he grabs the mum, bends her over the dinner table, and has his way with her right there on the dinner table. Now Carmel is furious and her dad is boiling, but still, total silence. All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain. Dave remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket. Suddenly the father backs away from the table and shouts, "All right, that's enough, I'll do the bloody dishes!"