Two cannibals were sitting down eating lunch and one says to the other: “You know I just can’t stand my mother-in-law" the other replies “Just put her to the side and eat the mash instead. Two cannibals were eating a clown and one said to the other do you think this clown tastes funny? Two cannibals were sitting down eating and one was crying and the other cannibal said "whats up" and the other cannibal replied i have just dumped my girlfriend.
Cannibals capture three men. The men are told that they will be skinned and eaten and then their skin will be used to make canoes. Then they are each given a final request. The first man asks to be killed as quickly and painlessly as possible. His request is granted, and they poison him. The second man asks for paper and a pen so that he can write a farewell letter to his family. This request is granted, and after he writes his letter, they kill him saving his skin for their canoes. Now it is the third man’s turn. He asks for a fork. The cannibals are confused, but it is his final request, so they give him a fork. As soon as he has the fork he begins stabbing himself all over and shouts, “To hell with your canoes!”
Five cannibals got to work for a large company: After the six month probationary period, the Director calls them all in to his office. "Now Gentlemen...I know it's not fair to cast aspersions, but it appears that two of our cleaning staff have gone missing without trace. Do any of you know anything about it?" The cannibals look at each other shaking their heads and denying all knowledge... "Of course, if the guilty party isn't prepared to own up, I'll have no recourse, but to sack the lot of you...I'll give you a few moments to think about it" says the Director, and leaves the room... "Which D*ck ate the cleaners?" asks the chief cannibal, once the Director was out of earshot... "Er....me!" says one, "I was starving" "You kn*b!" says the chief "We've been eating middle management and Team leaders for weeks and no one's noticed"
Yet another two eating a bloke....they both start at a foot each and work their way along.... 20 minutes later, one says to the other "How're you getting on?" He says "man, I'm having a ball!" "Slow down!" He says, "you'll get indigestion!"
