When i was younger and lived in New Milton i played a lot of golf , one of my weekly rounds was with a brother in law Steve , Steve was always in a rush , a good golfer but in life he never had time to relax he was rush , rush, rush , recently i have come to realise it's because he is totally disorganised , he runs a plumbing business - gawd knows how !. Anyhow i digress , One sunday morning Steve picked me up complaining he was hungry no time for a proper breakfast etc and off we went to Lyndhurst golf course for our pre booked round of golf in the wonderful surroundings of the new forest , it is a course built on common land and as such has lots of animals and people roaming over it , sometimes there were wild horses on the greens or people rambling by as you took your shot ( great for honing your concentration skills ) , but it was all part of the attraction . On about the 6th tee Steve declared he needed a number 2 - a tom tit , a poo , we carried on played the hole and by the time we got to the 7th he was walking like a ballet dancer " i got to go Malc " he pleaded , i suggested he go behind a tree and like magic i produced a packet of handy tissues - you know the ones in a small selllophane packet - gave it to him and asked the following four ball through - Steve disappeared up a track and off into the tree's . A few minutes went by and suddenly a gaggle of lady ramblers came wondering down the track that Steve had disappeared up , they were shocked and giggling , as they walked past i heard one of them say " i suppose when you have to go you have to go !"they were still giggling as the disappeared off along the fairway . Eventually Steve reappeared red face and cringing , " alright - better now ?" i asked Steve just said nothing and took his drive , he was very subdued and i won the game , on the way home he explained what happened and asked me not to say anything to our wives and his kids ( yeah right - like i was gonna keep that quiet ?). Apparantly he wondered off down the track , found a suitable tree just in time and stooped to let go , mid flush with his harris aimed back at the track he heard voices , he ignored it and then from nowhere appeared six lady ramblers and they got a full view of the brown turtle neck -- he couldn't do a thing about it ,he couldn't stop , they stood there for a moment flabbergasted at his nerve , he looked , they looked , a embarassed pause and then they moved off giggling -- Steve did what he had to do waited five minutes for them to get well clear and came out of the trees -- it really was a moment when you want the earth to swallow you up . i guessed what had happpened but said nothing until he told me in the car i never even laughed - until he said in total despair " one of them is a women i am doing a job for at the moment - she's a right posh cow !" -- i nearly pee'ed myself laughing i couldn't contain it any longer an had to stop the car . i did wait ten minutes when we got home before i told his Mrs He has never lived it down , every time he come's up here to play golf with me n my mates the story gets told no matter what the company
haha that's too funny!! bless your mate.... bet he was so embarrassed... but why not at least hide properly instead of having his arse pointing to the path?? x
Brilliant story I work in forestry in the winter (tree surgery in the summer but i digress) When in the woods we call it "being a bear" simply due to the question: Does a bear S*** in the woods? Yes it does when it lives in the woods so you are "being a bear" :laugh2:
