Apparently the pigeons of Birmingham will be flying upside down over the International Convention Centre for the next three days because there's nothing worth crapping on below.............
I'm watching the Tory conference now, rejoicing that every day is a day nearer their inevitable self-implosion. It's like an episode of Crossroads with Truss playing Amy Turtle and Kwarteng playing Benny.
Surely it must someone else's turn to host these ejuts? Somewhere that actually likes them? The Caimman Islands Mayfair Kensington Canvey Bloody Island .....