Best cracker joke ...

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Lasty, Dec 25, 2020.

  1. Lasty

    Lasty

    "What athlete is the warmest in winter ??"









    - a long jumper ...

    I'm nipping out .

    Sent from my SM-G960F using Tapatalk
     
    Lasty, Dec 25, 2020
    #1
    Kkkaty, Soggz, Louey and 8 others like this.
  2. Merlin Cat

    Merlin Cat Moderator

    Which playwright was scared of Christmas?











    Noel Coward :)
     
    Merlin Cat, Dec 25, 2020
    #2
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  3. Barry Haynes

    Barry Haynes I dance in leopard skin mankini’s

    One of Holly's
    (Q ) What did the stamp say to the envelope
    (A ) Stick with me we're going places:thumbsup:
     
    Barry Haynes, Dec 25, 2020
    #3
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  4. matty

    matty Supporter

    What do you call Postman Pat when he retires ?




    Pat
     
    matty, Dec 25, 2020
    #4
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  5. Day

    Day

    What does Santa suffer from when he gets stuck in a chimney?









    Claustrophobia.
     
    Day, Dec 25, 2020
    #5
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  6. Tilly

    Tilly

    What do you call a fly with no wings





    A walk
     
    Tilly, Dec 25, 2020
    #6
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  7. Pedro del monkeybike

    Pedro del monkeybike

    Why did the tap dance





    Because it was turned on
     
    Pedro del monkeybike, Dec 25, 2020
    #7
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  8. the2ems

    the2ems

    I know another one similar to that. But I might get banned :cool:
     
    the2ems, Dec 25, 2020
    #8
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  9. crossy2112

    crossy2112 Supporter

    Cornwall has jumped from tier 2 to tier 4




    Because all the pirates have come back and pushed the aaarrrr rate up.
     
    crossy2112, Dec 25, 2020
    #9
    Day, Kkkaty, Merlin Cat and 4 others like this.
  10. SweeneyTodd

    SweeneyTodd

    How does Jack Frost get to work?

















    By icecles!
     
    SweeneyTodd, Dec 25, 2020
    #10
    rustbucket, Kkkaty, Soggz and 4 others like this.
  11. Dubs

    Dubs Sponsor supporter extraordinaire

    I had that one... Sainsbury’s crackers?
     
    Dubs, Dec 25, 2020
    #11
    Louey, Barry Haynes and jivedubbin like this.
  12. Louey

    Louey Moderator

    I got given a roll of Xmas joke loo roll - definitely lots of crap jokes.

    I'd get my coat,but I'm stuck on the loo reading them :)
     
    Louey, Dec 25, 2020
    #12
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  13. Soggz

    Soggz Supporter

    We had that one!
     
    Soggz, Dec 26, 2020
    #13
  14. Louey

    Louey Moderator

    Who is Santa's favourite singer?

    Elf-is Presley :-D
     
    Louey, Dec 26, 2020
    #14
    Lasty and Dubs like this.
  15. Tilly

    Tilly

    What did the frog say when he was given a new book for Christmas







    Redit
    Redit
    Redit
     
    Tilly, Dec 26, 2020
    #15
    Day and Louey like this.
  16. Chrisd

    Chrisd Supporter

    I must have mis-heard, I thought it said it was riveting:D
     
    Chrisd, Dec 26, 2020
    #16
  17. Kevinthedog

    Kevinthedog

    .
     
    Last edited: Nov 13, 2021
    Kevinthedog, Dec 26, 2020
    #17
    Day and Louey like this.
  18. Dub and Dubber

    Dub and Dubber Supporter

    Raining cats and dogs it was ... What did Mrs Claus say?
    "Looks like reindeer"
     
    Dub and Dubber, Dec 26, 2020
    #18
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  19. rustbucket

    rustbucket

    What happened to the man who stole an advent calendar?




    He got 24 days.
     
    rustbucket, Dec 26, 2020
    #19
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  20. rustbucket

    rustbucket

    How does a snowman build a house?

    igloos it together.
     
    rustbucket, Dec 26, 2020
    #20
    F_Pantos, Lasty, Louey and 1 other person like this.

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