Any tips on taxi driving?

I've been cast in a police film about raising awareness of sexual harrassment towards women in the nighttime industry. I have to arrive at a gym and a nightclub in a black cab to rescue a damsel in distress. Any tips @Barry Haynes

 

How did you get that gig?
Got form?

 

Sorry excuse my ignorance do you mean harassment towards women taxi drivers or harassment towards punters?

 

Never take the most direct route and try to throw some swearing and casual racism into the conversation

 

Have you bin busy?

What time do you finish?

 

Don’t kiss the breath lady

 

Make sure its got screechy brakes, and turn up going in the wrong direction, and do a rapid and unexpected U-turn in front of oncoming traffic ?

 

Don't go south of the river.

 

You knew one anyway.
@Barry Haynes is renowned in the "industry", he's not just a centrefold!

 

For goodness sake, stop regarding Baz as some kind of sex object. He's got an intellect as well, you know

 

Make sure you spend at least 50% of the journey slagging off Uber and the other half chatting on the phone in some sort of foreign language, presumably slagging off Uber to your cousin.

if at all possible then combine your taxi journey with your other job of delivering pizzas.

try to get in the wrong lane on Watford ring road. A few laps round that pretending you can’t get across four lanes to take the exit can really rack up a few extra quid on the meter after 12pm.

 

Keep left

 

It's only got two lanes

 

Make sure you have Radio Quiet on in the background. Or your kids on speakerphone, I had that last week.

 

Corporate image is important

 

If you pick up from Sainsbury’s, other supermarkets are available don’t forget to put that piece of steak old Mrs Brown has bought for mr Browns tea under the boot carpet for your supper, and if you are working on a Saturday night and someone is sick in your car, don’t let that stop you working, go to your local petrol station, vacuum it up, spray a load of fabreze and voila you’re back in the game

 

What a pro

Sent from my SM-G960F using Tapatalk

 

Some of our performing arts students have been cast in the film, it's about women being harassed in nightclubs and gyms. The director wanted an "older gentleman" to be the cab driver and I got the gig I'll take your advice on board and try to be credible!