So,I told them I was leaving and they have tried desperately to keep me 'a loyal customer' offering all sorts of fantastic deals. No, I had made my mind up I am taking my contract elsewhere... This was my final call, and the true meaning. 3. Phoning from a ' unknown number' stupidly I answer it. " Good morning Mr C, This is three, are you having a nice day sir? True meaning. I am about to hook you into another two year deal and I don't care two hoots about your previous difficulties, or your day. I make money from you. Me. "Morning. I am fine thank you, did you not see the notes on your file informing you to call after 12.30 as I work nights?" True meaning.. FFS, these morons really P me off. I am going to give it her both barrels if I can get a word in, 3, Sorry about that Sir Before we go any further Mr C, can I ask you a few security questions. True meaning. I have your attention now. I don't really care what the time is - you will listen to me. Me. Yes carry on! True meaning. Bill hooks she's got me 3 ( After security questions and no breathing space ) I am phoning you today sir as we at Three are sorry you are leaving the Three family and would like to offer you the very best deal for your usage Sir and rest assured i will personally find the very best deal just for you... What phone would you like and I see your usage is quite low. You only use 3 gig of data and 30 texts. I see you use your phone a lot to friends and family i can offer you the new Iphone 7 with 30 gig of internet, unlimited text, unlimited calls, free data exchange, unlocked phone, so you can choose any network and free roaming in 42 countries. and all this Mr C will only cost you £49 a month all in, How does that sound Mr C. I said i would give you my very best special deal. This is very good yes? True meaning. I just stitched him up like a kipper, if he doesn't take that deal he will take a cheaper one and i get paid. Win win for me! Me. Would you run through that again please. It is early and I am hard of thinking this time of day. True meaning. Is she having a friggin laugh £50 a month for something I hardly use. c'off and let me sleep you pushy git. 3. stunted laugh as she gets my joke. Goes through it all again. True meaning. Is he completely stupid? Me. But I don't want a iphone 7. I just want to leave Three. You have been totally dishonest when you messed up my last contract and have been rude and condescending when I phone to sort it. True meaning. I wish I hadn't said that bit, I now have to talk to her longer- Just tell her to go away you dope. 3 Sorry to hear that Mr C. we at Three always listen to our customers and put your needs forefront in our minds. I am truly apologetic for any past troubles with Three sir. True meaning. Oops he's serious, i will be sycophantic for a while until he calms down. Me. Well it hasn't been a pleasant experience being lied to about what I was sold last time and the response from customer services has been very poor in my opinion. True meaning.. Oh no. I wish I hadn't said that. I just want to sleep and tell her to go away. Bill hooks , you idiot. 3. I am so sorry to hear that sir. The iphone 7 deal is the best deal we at Three can offer you at the moment. If you decide ' as I hope you do sir' that this is the best deal you will get and I have been very good listening to your unfortunate experience with three, we can go ahead and get you this very good deal sir. True meaning. I'll just ignore his complaint and carry on selling him a new contract. Me. Did you listen to a word I said there? True meaning. FFS P off, I have had my fill of three and the BS. 3. Yes sir i did and, you are right sir in your words and I am truly sorry for your experience. Would you like to go ahead with this deal Sir? True meaning. I don't care, have the phone you knob! Me. I am sorry, but I have to say this. You have phoned me at 9 in the morning, you haven't taken a blind bit of notice of the notes about phoning later in the day and you haven't listened to a word I have said about leaving Three. Your company has treated me appallingly over the last few years and I have had enough of the bs and super deals you keep offering me. Please hang up and leave me to sleep and get on with my life! True meaning. I wish I had the nerve to have been ruder there! 3. Yes sir of course sir. Is there anyone else in the family who would like a super phone deal as you have been a very loyal and trusted customer. It is a shame to miss this opportunity Sir. True meaning. I am clutching at straws now. Take the deal you awkward bar steward! Me. No. please go now. I am very tired and I work nights. You are disturbing my sleep. True meaning. Oh I do hope she takes the hint and doesn't keep me talking much longer. Please end this call. Please, please take the hint and let me leave soon, I implore you. Oh dear, this is desperate now. please let me leave. 3. Of course Sir, I apologise about that, but at Three we do like to give our customers the very best deal. I see you are sure you want to leave the Three family and I wish you a very happy and long life. Thank you for your custom Sir and we will always be here if you ever want to get the very best deal with a new phone contract. Have a very good day Mr C, and thank you for your custom at Three over the term of your contract. True meaning. Miserable git. I am glad I woke him up now. I hope he comes back begging for a phone deal. Me. ( PHEW!!) Okay bye, and thanks for the call. Bye. True meaning. TFFT! WTF did you thank her for you idiot? Better get up and make a cuppa.
Next time if they get as far as asking if you can answer a few security questions just say "no"or get the questions wrong. Did this to EE once and the girl hung up after I got them wrong for the 4th time.
Dear Mr C THIS IS ONE , you got one chance ta sign up or we come and poke the phone up your arras , its £60 a month with a free dognut on sundays . You want sum ?
Ah, so Lou took the 12:30 call then... One word, two syllables 'GiffGaff' cheap and good! just keep your old phone and get a sim only one month contract.
Utility warehouse. £14 non contract sim deal. Rickyrooos/lord congi's old unlocked iphone 4 and Bob's yer uncle
When I get those nuisance calls asking is that Mr H I say "Sorry, no, he's in the garden, hang on a minute and I'll go and fetch him". I then wander off and get on with my life and check the phone every ten minutes or so. If they're still hanging on I say "Hello, he's just coming, won't be a minute". If they're still there 20 minutes later I tell them "He's just getting his boots off and washing his hands, he won't be long now". I've never had one still hanging on at the 30 minute point. While they're sat waiting for me they're not bothering anyone else.
I used to hand the phone to the Eldest Unmarried when she was a young 'un, then she'd chatter away until the unwanted caller hung up.
I really laughed at that. Thanks for posting, it's now on my FB ( Geographically speaking lol ) page. Hilarious.
