Police claim Cliff Richard search unearthed horrific ‘new material’

A police search of Cliff Richard’s home has unearthed a host of horrific new album tracks, according to sources close to the case.

The pop icon’s home was searched last week as part of an investigation into historic sex abuse, but no-one was prepared for what was eventually found.

An officer on the case told our source, “It would absolutely turn your stomach, the stuff we saw and heard.”

“Working on Operation Yewtree we’ve been exposed to some pretty disturbing things, but this was on a different level.”

“He’s got at least three Christmas albums worth in there. I haven’t slept since I heard the first of them. This job has got PTSD written all over it.”

Cliff Richard search
Experts have said that police will find it difficult to prosecute on the basis of unreleased material, despite strong public support for doing so.

Consumer Simon Williams told us, “I consider myself fairly liberal but I’d gladly bring back hanging for those people who commit murder, fiddle with kids, or release a follow-up to Mistletoe & Wine.”

“There is simply no rehabilitating them.”

“I heard a friend of Cliff’s claim he doesn’t have a criminal record, but frankly his back catalogue is full of them.”

“Cliff Richard has a near sixty-year history of God-awful songs – let’s just lock him up and throw away the key.”

 

He's a shadow of his former self.

 

Doesn't look good does it?

 

sounds bad too.

 

Was Elvis also a suspected peado

 

Hope not, quite like some of his music

 

The police will catch him, he works down the chip shop.

 

I always thought there was something fishy about him

 

I was going to chip in with that one but you beat me to it.

 

He's just a devil woman apparently, with evil on his mind.

 

you need to ketchup

 

I know but I was in a bit of a pickle at the time.

 

cmon salt it out

 

salt it out then

 

wasnt he away on his summer holiday?

 

Yeah, with the young ones.

 

So he likes the Young Ones

 

I'll have to, I'm getting a bit battered over this.

 

Apparently he had a female housekeeper that stopped at his home, yes she was a Live in Doll.