My dear dad sadly passed away last week (Friday 13th!). it’s hit me quite hard as not only was he my dad he was my best friend. He had some ailments but was generally in good health considering. He was 84 so not at all young, but his untimely death has still come as a bit of a shock. Found at home sleeping peacefully reading, with his paper in one hand and magnifying glass in the other, so I take great comfort in knowing he went peacefully. We used to go to the pub every Thursday for a beer and something to eat. Unfortunately about 3 years ago he had some back problems which left him unable to walk without aid, which in turn meant he wouldn’t leave the house unless absolute necessary, so every Sunday morning when the kids went swimming I use to go over. He was proper old school, his word was his bond, everyone knew him and you couldn’t walk into a pub without someone knowing him, even when miles away from home. If you ever asked him for directions he would tell you the way by following pubs, he seemed to know them all. This is him at our wedding The reason for posting is to ask your opinion, in his personal belongings some items were found which clearly meant everything to him, which is why he kept them. I have no idea what these items meant or their historic meaning. A letter I wrote to him when I went on a school trip in 1990 (my parents split up around 1985) Tax disc & MOT Ration book NS&I savings There’s some other bits as well, but should I keep these or have these cremated with him. I think the latter, I think they should go with him so he can keep these things forever. His funeral is set for the new year and I’ve been trying to carry on as much as possible for the kids. The last time I saw him he gave me his usual Xmas card (which he gave me Unusually earlier than normal) which I’m dreading opening. Goodbye dad love you lots
My condolences. .. The sentimental value of those things was your fathers, he obviously held fond memories with them so let them go with him is a good idea. I lost my mum to dementia 4 weeks ago. Take comfort in the fact they are at peace and without pain or discomfort now.
So sorry about your dad Razzy, I would take comfort from the fact he went so peacefully. Also that one of his cherished items was a letter from yourself. would you not be interested in keeping the ration book as a piece of family history, for your kids to keep? the premium bonds may come up a winner? the rest, especially the letter, to go with your dad? Big hug to you and your family , love Alex x
I’m really sorry for your loss. I went through exactly the same in April of this year when my dad passed away after an illness at only 68. I would say you need to keep the items yourself, somewhere safe but not hidden away so you will never see them. For me, the most poignant items he owned I stumbled across after clearing out his car and selling it. I found a leather cased measuring tape and a notebook full of drawings and notes - all in his handwriting obviously. A succinct reminder of the job he loved, spending nearly 40 years inspecting bridges all over Nottinghamshire. These are on a shelf in our office at home, and whenever I see them I think about him. I think if you framed a few of these bits and put them somewhere you glance on them occasionally it would be a nice memory of your dad. Stay strong for the kids and get through Christmas, but take time for yourself to grieve in the new year. I understand exactly how hard it is (and still is). The best thing you can do is talk to people and let yourself not be ‘ok’. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Sorry to hear your news, stay strong, the pain does recede.. Keep the premium bonds, they may come up, you never know, but you will need to change the address etc. l agree with the others, your letter should go with him.
Keep the items you found. I had a difficult relationship with my dad that eventually exploded and we could no longer live under the same roof. We only made our peace when he was moved into the side room (the departure lounge) of a cancer ward. When me and my sister cleared his bedsit, she found a little notebook with all the family birthdays in - he had lost two children before we were born, both in tragic circumstances. 25 years on, my sister still has the notebook.
So sorry to hear of your dad's passing - I would keep those little treasures in a Memory box for your children - check the premium bonds first - they may have won some thing over the last 50 years
Dad was 10 when ww2 ended, I’m not sure these items were his, they clearly had some kind of sentimental value to him. I wish he had got these items out and talked about the meaning of them. I thought about donating them to a war museum, but it seems these items are fairly ‘common’. Therefore I think all these items should go with him. Thanks everyone for your kind wishes and those of you that have lost family members my condolences to you.
Very sad time for you. I lost my dad and best friend on December 18th, 1997. Feel your pain. You never get over these things but time is a healer and it seems you obviously had a great relationship and a great father. These are skills that you can pass on to your children. Thinking of you.
The Streets, Never Went To Church. These lyrics are always poignant when I think of my Dad, he went 17 years ago. On your birthday when mum passed the forks and spoons, I put my head on the table I was so distraught with you, You tidied your things into the bin, The more poorly you grew, So there's nothing of yours to hold or to talk to. Put your hand up and interrupt the conversation with a, but.. People say I interrupt people with the same look. Sometimes I think so hard I can't remember how your face looked, Started reading about dreams in your favorite book. Panic and pace when I can't see the right thing to do. You'd be scratching your head through the best advice you knew. And I feel sad I can't hear you reciting it through, I miss you dad but I've got nothing to remind me of you I still have my dad’s tools, still use them.
So sad, sorry for your loss. When Mrs ST's Dad died of cancer at 67 (he had three bouts of primary cancer... mouth, bowel & finally lung) our youngest wrote him a goodbye letter & we put it in his top pocket to take with him. He was cremated too. I lost my Dad 04/01/18 suddenly to cardiac arrest at 81 & remember him fondly, he was a schoolboy champion of Great Britain boxer in his younger days & also still holds the record for most goals scored in a season for fleetwood town including a double hat-trick after he'd done his national service. A player equalled my Dad's record a few seasons ago but didn't break it. He also had trails at Cardiff, Blackpool & Arsenal. I miss him! Rip your Dad Give him a good send off
