Joke

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Barry Haynes, Apr 8, 2016.

  1. My granddad was French and fought in the war.

    Sir Render.
     
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  2. jivedubbin

    jivedubbin Moderator

    Sore point
     
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  3. You could say it is a cut above the average but it actually a bit below the belt
    Bit of a snip really
     
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  4. jivedubbin

    jivedubbin Moderator

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  5. My other grandfather wants to put an end to this thread.

    Sir Fitt of sillyjokes.
     
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  6. jivedubbin

    jivedubbin Moderator

    I'm in hospital with food poisoning. I've eaten some daffodil bulbs thinking they were onions,the nurse told me I should be out in spring
     
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  7. jivedubbin

    jivedubbin Moderator

    My Great grandad was a knight

    He used to live near
    Sir enchester
     
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  8. My great, great grandad was a knight who never got to stand on a chess board. Poor old Sir Plus
     
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  9. jivedubbin

    jivedubbin Moderator

    My grandad was a knight ,he was famous for walking around and around

    His name was

    Cir cular
     
  10. jivedubbin

    jivedubbin Moderator

    My Great grandad was knighted for his services to the medical profession

    Sir Gery
     
  11. My grandfather was a knight and always found himself at the right place at the right time.

    Ser endipity
     
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  12. A friend of mine tried to take a photo of himself in the shower, but you couldn’t see him because of the mist in the room.

    he has selfie steam issues.
     
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  13. It was many years ago since the embarrassing day when a young woman, with a baby in her arms, entered his butcher shop.
    She confronted him with the news that the baby was his and asked what was he going to do about it..???
    Finally he offered to provide her with free meat until the boy was 16. She agreed:
    He had been counting the years off on his calendar, and one day the teenager, who had been collecting the Meat each week, came into the shop and said. "I'll be 16 tomorrow."
    "I know." Said the Butcher with a smile.
    "I've been counting too, tell your mother, when you take this parcel of meat home, that it is the last free meat she'll get and watch the expression on her face."
    When the boy arrived home he told his mother.
    The woman nodded and said.
    "Son, go back to the Butcher and tell him I have also had free bread, free milk, and free groceries for the last 16 years and watch the expression on his face"..
     
  14. I was run off the road whilst on my moped by a snow plough tonight.

    "Bad person " I said through gritted teeth.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 13, 2020
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  15. its ted

    its ted Sponsor

    And no genitals
    Def still no Fuc..ngidea
     
    Last edited: Feb 16, 2020
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  16. Coat..


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
     
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  17. FB_IMG_1581704964438~2.jpg
     
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  18. There was a guy and he had a girlfriend called Lorraine. She is very pretty and he liked her a lot. One day he went to work to find a new girl had started working there. Her name was Clearly and she was absolutely gorgeous. He began to like her and after a while it became obvious that she was interested in him too.
    He was a loyal man and he wouldn't get involved with Clearly while he was going out with Lorraine. He decided there was nothing for him to do but to break up with Lorraine and date the new girl. He planned several times to tell Lorraine but he couldn't bring himself to do it.
    One day as they were walking along the river bank, Lorraine slipped and fell into the river. The current carried her off and she drowned. The guy stopped for a moment by the river and then ran off smiling and singing...
    "I can see Clearly now Lorraine is gone..."
     
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  19. 1566742894-loro-piana-1566742889.jpg
     
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  20. FB_IMG_1581712005301.jpg
     

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