i went out for a drink last night

asked for some plain crisps at the bar, chap said he only had helicopter flavour.

 

Too soon?

 

must have been strong beer though, when i left the room was spinning.

 

I've found my defining emoticon

 

awww come on i've held back for hours.

 

Police in Glasgow have confirmed they have arrested a man who climbed on the roof of a pub to paint 'HAPPY ST. ANDREWS DAY' in giant white letters.

Fortunately they managed to stop him after he only had time to finish the 'H'.

 

I'm keeping my head down, I've already been modded for my humour....

 

yeah i'm expecting it but meh, you'd laugh in the pub.

 

I'm laughing on the toilet...........!

 

last one or i reckon i'm pushing it.




I went into a pub in Glasgow last night, and must admit,i thought they had gone overboard with the ceiling fan.

 

Ice and a slice?

 

shame really, i dont understand why its taken so long to get the people out. is it a lock in.

 

its never to soon ive wanted to post these jokes allday but ive not been around long enough to get away with it
we all no how sad and terrible life can be but I like to laugh instead of crying at the end of the day they are just word to make us laugh and no more

 

The real joke of the day is that the Westboro Baptist Church says that it was God's punishment for Scotland allowing gay marriage. .
FFS are these people for real?

 

Sadly, Yes....
or at least I think so...I'm becoming so mistrusting about what gets posted on the internet

 

They interviewed one of the barmaids, who normally works on Friday nights but she'd swapped shifts ....when he asked how she felt she said "Thank god I wasn't on the rota"


I thank you

 

get your coat young man

 

I've already left the building....