What did the Geordie pikey say to the Scottish pikey that quoted him for his caravan driveway? Tarmac I've got it and wearing it
Geordie’s parrot would not stop swearing and one day in a fit of temper he put it in the freezer and told it that it was not getting out until it stopped using foul language. When the swearing eventually stopped, Geordie opened the freezer and the parrot said, “Alreet man, a’l stop swearing, but a have one question, … what the hell did the turkey do?”
Geordie Bloke on the tube hanging onto the strap , bloke next to him says cor blimee mate your armpit smells of coconut , Geordie says it bounty be init mate
Geordie tells all his mates at the pub he’s going fishing out in the boowt next day so next nite he’s in pub his friend says hi Geordie whatja catch ? He said I caught a whale his mate said oh yeh reet man how big was that . Geordie says it was 26 inches ,it was a bicycle whale .
the shoe thread is the place to cheer everyone up! where else are you going to find a pic of @Baysearcher on the bog, @Barneyrubble with his pants down in the lounge, @CollyP in a pair of pumps whiter than those last seen at a fred perry tennis tournament and @scrooge95 's winning entry into Converse Anonymous support group?
Was walking along the beach with Geordie and he suddenly shouted “I’ve found a limpet!”. Said “Big deal”, turned round and he was holding up a severed arm
Why did the Geordie come to Somerset at harvest time? Becuase he wanted to weigh hay. Sorry, just made it up. I know I shouldn’t of, but I did, and I don’t regret it. And the coat is staying on it’s peg.
Two Geordies stood in a field, one says to the other one, “Ere, can you smell carrots” Ozziedog,,,,,,,,, sorry bud, that might’ve been two snowmen
A man gets a budgie that talks. All it wants to say is "I'm a Geordie budgie I'm had as nails" The budgie says this over and over for a few weeks and in the finish the man is getting really sick so he gets a hawk. He puts the hawk in the cage with the budgie before going to bed and says "lets see how hard you are now you little sod" and off he goes to bed. In the morning he checks the cage. The hawk is dead and the budgie is hopping about shouting "I'm a Geordie budgie and I'm hard as hell" he continues to repeat this all day so the next day the man goes and gets a buzzard. "right then this fella will sort you out for sure" says the man as he puts in the the cage. Off he goes to the shop. When he gets back he is amazed to find the buzzard dead and the budgie happliy shouting "I'm a Geordie budgie and I'm hard as hell" The man makes a few calls and gets hold of an eagle. He puts the eagle in the cage before going to bed. He tells the budgie "there is no way you are still going to be here in the morning mate" he heads off up the stairs chuckling. In the morning he comes down to find the eagle dead but the budgie has no feathers. Amazed he looks at the budgie who still happy says........................ "I'm a geordie budgie and I'm hard as hell but I had to take my coat off for that one"
