I know these lorry drivers usually get busy with a hammer....

So here's how it all unraveled!

I am sat in my cab reading some highbrow articles in my daily sport, waiting patiently for the arrival of my Rugeley takeaway when in my side mirror I spy the slightly battered smoking Datsun sunny back firing into view with a rather large smuttily attired lady driver at the wheel, she stalled it next to my my cab and rolled out in a very unladylike fashion, the ripped stockings and worn high heels seemed to lead the eye all the way up past the chubby legs and focus the eye on the rather cushion like derriere which was wrapped in a very short denim skirt, the brown y fronts should have been a give away but my ardour was up and I was on fire!

She rather clumsily clambered up into my cab cursing in a very masculine voice, saying things like " oww!, my arse!" it was rather large and she did scrape it a few times on the step on the way in, Suddenly and much to my surprise I found myself looking into the face of my best bud Rick " alroiht Luv? " she asked in a very manly Broad Brummy voice, i checked myself and asked her if she has a brother locally called Rick, she looked shy and with a flutter of her false lashes said coyly " might have" I guessed right away the number he had given me was his secret sister, never mind any holes a goal I thought and away I went straight for the glovebox, Bloody hell - in the y fronts was a set of crown jewels, in complete and utter shock I pulled myself out of her clinch and screamed like a girl " shut up you tart" she shouted and grabbed me with arms like a all in wrestler " come back here and let me earn my tenner" in sheer panic I screamed again and hit the emergency dial on my cab phone.

In hindsight I should have known it was Rick, the y fronts the badly smeared masquara, the ill fitting tights the worn shoe's and the old spice, I felt awful when the policeman handed back my money and cautioned Rick for constantly misleading lorry drivers and being in possesion of a seriously offensive car.

Shame really, he is such a nice bloke in real life but he has some identity issue's.

 

That's her/ him.

Gimme back my debit cards!!