Humbug

I’ve got a stinking head cold and I hate everyone

 

Arrrrrgh man flu.....get away, I'm going on holiday tomorrow, I don't want to catch it. I will have enough to deal with sitting in a pressurised tube of farts and cold germs.

 

It’s not the germs you need to worry about. It’s the microscopic particles of vaporised oil and jet fuel. The air conditioning packs are fed from bleed air from the compressor stages of the engine. Granted it’s cooled and filtered, but it’s not pure. Far from it. Your best bet it to only breath through the drop down masks, but these only last about 12 minutes, so you’ll need to start at the back of the plane and move seats about every ten minutes. The really scary thing is that you’ll find a high percentage of them don’t work anyway, so in a real emergency loads of people would die from hypoxia anyway.

did I mention I’ve got a head cold?

 

You forgot compressor blades fracturing and throwing shards of metal through the fuselage, causing an explosive decompression.

 

Class!

 

I didn’t want to alarm him.

 

Same.

 

You forgot to mention square windows.

Don't get on a plane with square windows.

 

I feel your pain. I generally only despise about 50% of the people I meet, but this must be nudging 80 at the minute. Even the thought of going on a spree killing in Poundland isn’t raising my spirits.

I hate head colds. I hate the way they trick you into thinking they are going, but it’s only a pause whilst the next symptom arrives. I currently have ear ache, and I don’t mean the normal stuff you get from a wife, I mean genuine ear ache and the feeling someone is pushing on my eyeballs.

 

Completely off topic but never drink in a pub with a flat roof either.
Think of every rough boozer you know, have any of them got a pitched, tiled roof?

 

try wearing a bobble hat init !

 

We've both had the horrible virus that is going round - only 3 days but didn't feel like eating - so good weight loss plan

 

I don't have a head cold and I hate everyone

 

We've been taking that as read for years

 

Square windows, microscopic oil, non working air thingies, check, check,check.
Ill be fine, I've got a good old British stiff upper lip and a packet of extra strong mints.
Oh and I got you night nurse........for your cold

 

Dear god. She could make a happy man feel very old.

 

Have you tried sucking a trebor ?

 

I concur. But the air was even cleaner, when smoking was allowed, as the ‘air scrubbers’ could function more efficiently,as they were ‘turned upside,which in turn, cost more fuel to run them, apparently, so to save fuel...
Is that right?

 

Yay, made it without dying. Those extra strong mints really did the trick.