A secret story , i have kept from everyone ! November 2011 -- Rhubarbs resto So - there was a vw type 2 westy on my drive in bits , i work nights and i had taken the front beam off the previous day and my van was minus all it's gubbins and being very light i had it sat on two 6 x 4 blocks of wood - nothing unusual there ! - but At about 3 am i arrived home from work and noticed the front end of the van was looking lop sided , after further investigation i discovered the 20 inch long blocks supporting the van were leaning precariously towards the neighbours hedge , the van had obviously been leaned against and moved over making the blocks lean over . Quick as a flash and probably in panic i slid underneath feet first with my back against the house wall and tried to lift the van back into a straight position while i straightened the blocks up with my feet -- in hindsight i can safely say hand on heart - THIS WAS A BAD IDEA ! The van moved far easier to the left than i could possibly imagine - so easily in fact that it flew right off the blocks and into my lap - not good ! , there i was at 3 am on a freezing cold morning sat with my back to our house wall with 1972 vv camper in my lap -- i was in a pickle I was trapped because although the van wasn't heavy , it was too heavy to lift from the position i was in and i couldn't slide out backwards as my back was against the wall and i could not move my legs to the left or right when i summoned up enough energy to slightly rais the van weight off my hip area - what should i do ? mobile phone , in my bag which was well out of my reach - d'ohh , shout , tried this but didn't want to wake the neighbour's and Lou sleeps like a log - bang the front panel to annoy someone - no one took any notice , after about a hour and a half i fell asleep for ten minutes , but woke desperately wanting a wee - oh good gawd what a predicament , i managed eventually to turn slightly to the left ,undid my fly and sort of got a line of fire that wouldn't drench me too much - i have to say this was not very successful and although it did warm my leg for a few minutes it soon turned to cold and was a tad smelly -- At about 6am i heard the milkman making his way slowly down our long road and when i say slowly i mean slowly - i just wanted him to come somewhere near our house and i would call him over , he seemed to take a age but then he was over the road delivering to Tanya our neighbour's , i whistled quietly so as not to wake someone who might know me and come to help this pee soaked idiot stuck beneath his vw , luckily after a couple more whistles shouts and a bit of banging on the van the milkman saw me - after his initial shock and rye smile had worn off it took him about 10 seconds to lift the van up and for me to crawl out , he asked me how long i had been there -- " oh only a few minutes !" i lied , but he looked at my white face , frost covered bag and soaked trousers and then said - " well you're out now bud , best to get yourself off to bed, MALC !" - Just my luck , he was a mate of a mate and was into his old cars , my mate had told him it was my vw that was on his run , he then asked - " have you spilled something Malc ?- cos it stinks whatever it is -!" .i could have died , i asked him to keep it quiet and he has , i never said anything to Lou or the kids , but she did wonder why i was later home than usual and wanted a shower before going to bed ! Moral of the story -- leave it until you can do it properly or shout louder - sod the neighbour's !
Why i didn't write this before was because the chassis rails hit my knees causing some quite serious damage to both which will need operating on at a future date, i tried to write it with humour but somehow it won't flow ! 3 hours ish Silver you numpty, pay attention man, i would insert rolling eyes smiley here if i was on my computer ,lol
Sorted now, sorry for the confusion gawd i still have 7 hours work and 300 miles to do, i would give the m1 m62 m65 and m6 a miss tonight folks ----->>> dohh !
The moral of this story is that if you are absolutely determined to have sex with your bus then make sure you go on top.
Is like a low rent version of "127 hours" where the highlight was *******ing your pants But it sounds like the sort of thing that would happen to me!
