Covid 19: London virus mutation

Be watchful for the new Covid mutation sweeping London. Symptoms are a relaxation of the back muscles, causing the sufferer to lean backwards, while a tightening of the upper arms causes the elbows to move outwards. Further spasms in the legs cause the knees to be raised when walking.

Onset is rapid. If you find yourself walking like a Cockney, speak to your GP immediately. They will have been specially trained to understand symptoms described using rhyming slang. If left untreated, the virus can spread to the digestive system, causing severe pain up the Elephant and Castle.

Let's be careful out there.

 

Been looking at some footage from down there and it looks worse than first thought Snotts, there's thousands of em

 

It’s spread right up the Old Kent Road

 

Has it reached East Grinstead yet?

 

It gets worse, point of no return, some have been seen sewing buttons onto their clothes.

 

Just checked and taxi drivers have been heard singing any old iron.
There's no hope.

 

They reckon a good dowsing with aftershave will kill it, so cabbies should be ok. The Government have ordered millions of bottles of Brut.

 

Bazza' been asking around for a Kevin Keegan wig, sorry hairpiece

 

What's the recommended course of action? Go up the apples and stairs to Bedfordshire?

 

Apples and stairs - pears????

new one on me. Me old mucker. Cor blimey govnor.

 

Haha.... Freudian slip.

 

Oh no I've had Covid19 since I was a kid,

 

I heard it may lead to an out break of Gor Blimey trousers. Doesn’t bear thinking about

 

That'll cause arf' a ton of rubble if they don't watch out

 

Kings Cross Station = Virus Mutation

Easy once you get the hang of it...

 

If you succumb...

You need to take...

Hot meat pies... savaloys and trotters...
(Not Del n Rooney)...

 

Bring on the jellied eels an' pie n mash luv a duck