I couldn’t believe it when I was told I was obese ,I was all shook up. . Here’s my after photo , I lost heaps ,, Don’t mind the camel toe...
A couple of years back , I was in Vegas on the strip. One of the days there we spotted an ad at one of the places that ‘Big Elvis’ would be singing and doing a show just after lunchtime on the very next day, so we reserved next day to have lunch near this casino. When we got there there were only about a half a dozen other customers in this bar in this casino and us four and a mahooooosive throne. So we get some beers in and another couple wandered in, so we’re thinking this is gonna be absolutely pants if no ones coming to see him. There were more peeps just outside the bar on the slots in another bit of the casino. We were chatting away and not really paying any attention and ‘Big Elvis’ had wandered in and plonked himself on his throne. He started talking and I would have sworn it was him, there were our two ladies stood between me and him so he was about ten feet away. His singing again was absolutely spot on and you’d have thought you were listening to a record of Elvis but all I could see were his rather voluminous cheeks and bushy sideboards so quite a portly Elvis. I also noticed that everyone there apart from me and my mate Pete, were absolutely mesmerised by him??? After a couple of tracks two couples left and there was only a half a dozen or so watching him and I’d noticed that as they’d left, most were muttering that they didn’t like him or stuff to that effect??? So eventually Mrs Ozziedog and Petes mrs Sue sort of moved around and I now get the full view of the spectacle. Big Elvis looks just like Elvis and sounds like Elvis but he is big! He is big to the tune of he has a pair of white trousers with glitter stripes down the sides that probably started off as straight but now we’re creating a strange ziggy zaggy pattern on his legs on the sides, he doesn’t have a shirt but more of a smock which is the same fabric and proper tent like, maybe enough to park a bay window or two under it Then I spotted and couldn’t take my eyes off his tum He’s sat down and his tum is hanging out from under his smock and is only an inch or two off the floor and here’s the extra gross bits, it’s swaying in time to the music We’ve now listened to some monologues and three or four really good tunes and I’m trying to desperately look him in the eye and not watch his tum keeping pace with the music and because there’s only a few of us left we’re tooooo embarrassed to walk past him and run out. He now tells us for his last tune, he’s gonna sing one of his faves which is American Trilogy, and we’re thinking thank god for that happy days we can go somewhere else etc etc. Well that’s what he starts off singing, and then he gets into a little compilation of songs that seems to go on for about twenty minutes and is now sounding like a K Tel record The Best of Elvis ala Jive Bunny Fashion .Now here’s the worst bit, he’s got into a track and I think it was A Little Less Conversation, then he gets up to have a dance as he’s singing As he bends forwards to get up, this is etched into my mind for ever and ever, as he gets up, he leans forwards and his tummy is brushing the floor and some dog ends are brushed along with it, he then gets up, his tum is only hanging out an inch or so now and he singing and starting to dance and as he dances he is moved by what appears to be almost liquid inside him, as he moves to the right his momentum is still struggling to the left and as he then goes left he’s still being dragged to the right Thenkfully this only lasted a minute or less and his manager/ compare/ friend took the mike off him and thanked everyone and they wandered off to the casino somewhere. We finished our drinks and just looked at each other, Sad in a way, but Vegas to the umpteenth degree Ozziedog,,,,,,,secretly we was just glad we’d already eaten
Well this is gonna be a frustrating experience. I decided that Monday morning will be my weigh day. Last Monday I was 13st 10. This week I have cut out all sugar in my coffee (about 5 cups a day), I’ve cut out all crisps, biscuits, sweets etc, I’ve replaced my junk food lunches with fruit and Greek low fat yoghurt. I’ve home cooked every meal expect one take away curry on Friday night, and even then I picked a dry dish without loads of rich sauce. Cut out all fizzy drinks. the net result of all that hard work is that I’m now 13st 13. I’ve put on three pounds. How is that even possible. Ffs.
Stick with it!! It took me ages to loose the first few pounds earlier in the year. Also, I remember reading something about the body naturally retaining fat when it thinks it’s about to be starved. Wednesday is a better day to weigh... no weekend anomalies, a bit like COVID-19 statistics!
Not sure if you’re following a recognised diet there, but it does sound like you’re showing willing. With the best will in the world it’s not a next day experience. Try to weigh yourself exactly once a week at exactly the same period ,either just before or straight after you’ve been and done your morning ablutions. The short cut words wise is very simply food /fuel / calories in and exercise / calories burnt out. Recognised diets will help you only in the fact they may speed up your weight loss. I think you may want to check in with a diet club, perhaps just even to check out their menus. I’m also guessing that lots of fruit is temporarily replacing the sugar lost in your coffee and as I’m sure you’re aware, your body is very very clever at adapting to short term changes but it will come good in the end. Yoghurts and fruit don’t sound very sustainable, so whatever you change too in eating habits, make sure it’s something that you can do for a long time, fruit and yogi might not be the thing for you. Steak might sound a little bettererer and cold meats in the fridge to pick at , at will Have a little research and get yourself a realistic plan over eighteen months and just know that results are gonna start after several months if you want it to be a permanent change. Jacket spuds and baked beans can be be your friends, spuds cut into chips and done in the oven with poached eggs or eggs fried in water and some nice ham is an easy meal as is some chillis with rice etc etc Do some research, get your head back on, and focus on a time frame. Not this birthday coming, but the one after is a good one. Ozziedog,,,,,,,,you’ll get absolutely nothing but encouragement from me
Having lived with a fatster it seemed quite obvious to me why she was ever expanding and I wasn't. She of course blamed her metabolism but the reality was that she ate twice as much as me.
