Joke

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Barry Haynes, Apr 8, 2016.

  1. A Polish farmer tending his fields was approached by two official looking men.
    We are surveyors one said and we are reaglining the border between Poland a d Russia and it presently runs through your fields so you have a decision to make.
    Do you want to live in Poland or Russia.
    Without hesitation the farmer said Poland definitely Poland.
    OK said the men and stRtex walking away.
    One turned around and said you made that decision without any hesitation can we ask why you decided to be in Poland.
    Well the old farmer said.







    I cannot stand those Russian winters.
     
  2. Barry Haynes

    Barry Haynes I dance in leopard skin mankini’s

    Screenshot_20210109-210404.png
     
  3. Man walks into a bar
    A girl sat at the bar sneezes and her glass eye flies across the room
    He catches it and hands it back to her
    They get talking and he ends up spending the night with her
    In the morning he says do you sleep with all the guys you meet in the bar?
    She says no
    Only the ones that catch my eye!!
     
    Dubs, Uncle Nick, Gingerbus and 6 others like this.
  4. One from my youngest grandson.

    Did you hear about the man who had the whole of his left side ripped off?






    He’s alright now :D
     
  5. Bloomin lockdown. I’m already bored for tomorrow.
     
    Uncle Nick and Merlin Cat like this.
  6. C.O.A.T
     
    the2ems likes this.
  7. I’ll tell him :thumbsup:
     
  8. Alright is better than half left.
     
    the2ems likes this.
  9. I’ve just been reading a book about oil. It was non friction.:D
     
  10. And I get villified for my jokes !!!!!
     
    the2ems likes this.
  11. A RAF fighter pilot was shot down over France and woke up in a German military hospital.
    The surgeon leaned over him and said you haf been badly injured and we will have to cut off your right arm.
    OK said the pilot but could you do me a great favour and fly my arm over to
    England and drop it onto Tangmere airfield, My comrades will understand and give it a proper burial.
    OK agree the surgeon and that day a ME109 flew over Tangmere and dropped the arm
    Next day the surgeon again said we are sorry but your injuries were so severe we will have to remove your left leg, the pilot made the same request and again a ME109 dropped the leg on Tangmere.
    Two days after the surgeon said we are sorry but your right leg will also have to be removed.
    The pilot made the same request, the surgeon look at the pilot and gritted his teeth and said no.
    Why asked the pilot.
    The surgeon said







    We think you are trying to escape.
     
    Last edited: Jan 13, 2021
  12. Pudelwagen

    Pudelwagen Supporter

    Good joke but sack your proof reader!
     
    Merlin Cat, Tilly, cunny44 and 2 others like this.
  13. Yes, but mine are funny :thumbsup:
     
    its ted likes this.
  14. It’s strange how some people have trouble sleeping. I can do it with my eyes closed :lol:
     
    Uncle Nick, Merlin Cat, Zed and 4 others like this.
  15. Sacked and redone dam predictive text.
     
    Merlin Cat, Pudelwagen and its ted like this.
  16. Prefer the original
     
  17. CC3101B0-0FC0-4F40-BD1C-517495E31216.jpeg
     
    Day, Uncle Nick, Merlin Cat and 2 others like this.
  18. Pudelwagen

    Pudelwagen Supporter

    Much better. Now see if you can fix the punctuation!
     
  19. Yes teacher
     
    Pudelwagen likes this.

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