Yer dad!

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Poptop2, Nov 25, 2015.

  1. Poptop2

    Poptop2 Moderator

    I was having a chat with my dad yesterday. He is 75 and feeling under the weather. He has a cold and has been recovering from a replacement ankle op and was generally down in the dumps.

    I got the impression he was tired and a bit doddery. His face looked worried and his chest out, man up and face it had waned a little. I got him chatting about my kids ( who he loves to bits ) and the family in general.

    For the first time ever this great bloke, who is merely a working man born in austere times to a very poor working class family, began telling me his hopes and fears. It was surreal how this fanned out. My dad spoke about the same hopes and fears as I have. The same money worries and kid worries as I have been through in my life and the same rows with my mum that me and Lou have. He talked about his working life as a employer and a employee, the people he worked with and the differences. How he has had the same issues with work place bullies, liars and bad managers. How they have left him at times feeling insecure in his job and how he worried at times about the family not having money if he quit his job etc.He talked about our great times as a family on holidays and adventures, the bad times when he went through illness and despair. his poor childhood and we chatted and chatted.

    I found myself listening and comparing our lives and thoughts and thinking we are no different. This great man who I have looked up to as my rock all my life, who protected us from all things bad by being a man and confronting life on our behalf and payed our way to adulthood by his sheer will and self belief is merely a mortal. He hurt, felt worried and feared like me I felt humbled in some odd way. I can't explain why, maybe that is why I am writing it here, but it was a growing moment. It told me I am getting older, more able to listen and able to empathise. We are neither getting younger and it is only at a certain age I think that you can have those type of conversations. I gave him a hug and said ' Come on lets get you sorted and back on the golf course next week' He is picking up today, but yesterday it was - I can't think of the word!

    Yer dad you know is a cool guy. The rock . He gets on with it. He might moan, tell you off, drink, or just tell you to pull your socks up when no one else dare, but he is the man, and only human like you.

    He is going to be alright by the way ' my dad', but I wanted to share those thoughts.
     
    Last edited: Nov 25, 2015
    Neptuneblue, Cov1987, dog and 23 others like this.
  2. rickyrooo1

    rickyrooo1 Hanging round like a bad smell

    nope, mine's a dick and death will be too good for him.
     
  3. Glad for you that you have a Dad like that, mine's a bit of a dick too.
     
    Last edited: Nov 25, 2015
    Poptop2 likes this.
  4. Poptop2

    Poptop2 Moderator

    I did think of you when I wrote it. :(
     
    rickyrooo1 likes this.
  5. rickyrooo1

    rickyrooo1 Hanging round like a bad smell

    didn't wanna put a downer on your post malc, but my dad buggered off and left my mom to work 2 jobs and scrimp and beg to keep us going as teens while he shacked up with lilo lil.... never paid a penny maintenance and he's still breathing and she died at no age..... justice will be his when nobody goes to his funeral.
     
  6. I bet he will hate that...:D
     
  7. Poptop2

    Poptop2 Moderator

    I know that must hurt you both. But there are a lot a good dads out there. I am regretting the post now a bit.
     
  8. No worries mate, regret nothing. I'm not hurt anymore, it's not worth the bother. Hence I don't have contact with him or my Mother and Sister and not had for about 20 years, well I've seen him 2 or 3 times. It saves a fortune at Christmas I can tell you. :D
     
    Poptop2 and rickyrooo1 like this.
  9. I miss mine loads, was a real nice forgiving man, owe him everything I've got :(
     
    Neptuneblue, dog, CollyP and 7 others like this.
  10. rickyrooo1

    rickyrooo1 Hanging round like a bad smell

    don't regret, i wasn't offended either his absence saved me knocking him out in my fit years for all the beatings i got as a kid..... he used to take money out of my mom's purse and say me or my bro had stolen it then whack us for it..... my mom said she knew it wasn't us but he used to threaten to whack her too..... i was 15 when he finally did one, he kept popping back and upsetting my mom - probably hedging his bets incase life with lilo didn't go well.... at 15 i already threatened him with a cricket bat if he showed his face again, last time i saw him was coincidentally the day me and lu got married he happened to be in a shop i'd gone in.... should he still be with us he would have been 70 on nov 3rd - hopefully he's frail and unwell and we have a harsh winter.
     
  11. rickyrooo1

    rickyrooo1 Hanging round like a bad smell

    even 30 plus years after he left i still find it amazing i have so much bile and hatred for a man, mrs roo says i will regret it should he die and we don't make up, i highly doubt this as it's never felt like i had a dad to be fair......
     
  12. Poptop2

    Poptop2 Moderator

    I just think that's a
    I have thought about hatred and why people hate. My conclusion is, it isn't always hatred, in fact seldom is, it's anger. Anger at the person for what they did and who they are!
     
  13. rickyrooo1

    rickyrooo1 Hanging round like a bad smell

    you googled that!
     
    davidoft and Poptop2 like this.
  14. My Dad has just grabbed a cuppa from Andy who's here at work with us, nabbed another colleague, Pete and is doing some testwork looking at the effect of temperature in Polymers when under test conditions.

    He's 76 & works with us most days!
     
    CollyP, snotty, Beckybutty and 3 others like this.
  15. Poptop2

    Poptop2 Moderator

    ?= understandable reaction!
     
  16. My Dad just lives in his yesteryears when he thought he was gonna be a rock'n'roll star. Now he goes to Sainsburys for his breakfast with another Mersybeat dropout and talks about Pete Best a lot I imagine. His sax blowing days are gone thanks to ciggies and CPOD, he only stops coughing when he's got a ciggy in his mouth! My Mother's had 1/3 of her bowel removed probably due to the fact that if she could have Carlsberg Special Brew on a drip she would have but as you can't I suspect that's what's rotted her inners away. Anyway, I have plenty of my own problems to worry about without all that extra baggage so that's just the way it is.
     
    jivedubbin and vanorak like this.
  17. My old man managed to smoke himself to death by the time I was about 24....(I've just turned 50).....Unfortunately the arguments around smoking are hard to apply when most of his squadron buddies in bomber command never made it through the war years... life was a lot cheaper in those days.
    Would give anything for a sit down and a chat with him......although I'm sure it would end with me getting a rollicking ..!
     
    CollyP, Barneyrubble, vanorak and 3 others like this.
  18. The same offer as before,I'll be your dad Ricky, I'll help you with your T25, we can go for a pint, I'll get you interested in the footy and take you to Chelsea, I'll even let you look at your favourite hamster site in your room, as long as you clean up afterwards haha
     
    Barneyrubble, snotty and rickyrooo1 like this.
  19. rickyrooo1

    rickyrooo1 Hanging round like a bad smell

    are you old enough? i don't like going south so you'd need to move closer.
     
    Richard W12 likes this.
  20. Thanks for sharing that malc
    There isnt a day goes by where i dont miss my dad
    I was such a dick to him at times and now im older and bringing my own family up
    I realise he was trying his dam hardest to do the best for us which must have been even harder with not growing up with a dad himself
    I should have appreciated him more at the time and now ive no way of saying sorry.
     
    dog, CollyP, snotty and 9 others like this.

Share This Page