To paraphrase ....

I'm now officially an Osteo with a bad back ...
which is ironic given that I was being a roofer with a not at all leaky roof at the time
It was all going so well

 

Any mould?

 

On his bad back?

 

Getting bored with the new view already ...

 

Could you put that uplighter a bit further down the wall, please? It’s getting my OCD going. Thx.

 

That's an effect of the low angle of the shot .... It's actually perfect
Thought you might have more of an issue with the cobweb .... or the lack of a frame on the painting ... or the tiny bit of label sticking out from the rug ... or the apparent switching out of my left and right feet.
As I say I've already been here too long

 

That painting isn't straight...

 

More camera angle and wide angle lens effect I'm afraid .... If I hold the phone with mi arms at full stretch (the things I do for you) it looks a bit better, but this carcass is going nowhere so you'll just have to live with it

 

Didn't realise you had a picture rail. You're excused

 

You see .... The camera ALWAYS lies

 

Good spot ... I wondered who might.
It's a "speedy maquette" done in a life class a few years back .... as in s this one:

 

..... It's been a while!

 

T*ts and bums?

 

You see what you want to see my friend

 

It's art!

 

So as a follow up to the best selling series @Merlin Cat goes walkabout, here's the first offering in the new series "Osteopathic cures for seized backs" in which I explore the holistic possibilities for those of us who can just about stand for five minutes to rustle up some grub ......
Sorry @snotty there wasn't time to line the olives up