Outrageous conspiracy theories

In these dark times I’ve realised I’ve let the side down. I have yet to start any outrageous conspiracy theories and attempt to spread them all over the internet.

so here’s mine. The dafter the better.

so I’ve heard through a really good mate who works in the ministry of defence that the lockdown has nothing to do with a virus. Apparently 11months ago a tracking station in the Canary Islands detected an asteroid. They spent nearly a month plotting its course and concluded that it will definitely hit the earth. Secretly all the governments of the world have been working to find a way to deflect the impact but due to its size they have concluded it’s impossible. This will be an extinction level event.

scientists believe that the asteroid won’t actually be visible in the sky until about twelve hours before impact as it crosses the moon. They fear a complete breakdown in society if this impending impact is detected. So in December they released what they thought would be a mild but unpleasant virus into the population as a way of engineering a lockdown of the global community. However it reacted in a surprising way once released into the general population, where it mutated and started causing unexpected deaths. Exactly what they didn’t want to happen as they were trying to avoid panic in the general population.

current estimates are the impact zone to be somewhere in the Pacific Ocean and that it will take approximately one year for all living things on the planet to be extinguished from impact.


Please feel free to add your own stupid thoughts underneath. Better they are all collected in one place rather than all over the net. Who knows. In about 24 hours the only thing to amuse us might be our imaginations, and snottys fence.

 

It's gonna be ok, the cockroaches will survive

 

If I were the Donald, I’d say Obama started it.

 

I've heard that it's because the remoaners were right after all. And that if the UK leave the EU then the world will come to an end .

 

What am I thinking? He probably has said that. He’s probably also said Obama looks a bit “Chinese”

 

I heard that all this attention has ye ll ow s no wed the flu right off

 

It is man made.

Bats, lizards, pangolins, wolf cubs, raw meat, dogs for meat, fish etc don’t all turn up in the one place....they are 100% brought to the one place by man.

 

Vlad got bored with shirtless bear wrestling (not that bears usually wear shirts) and decided to set up a "diversion" so he could crack on with expanding the Empire .... If you can establish "Novichok knob" in Salisbury you can do "Wuhan Wirus" no trouble.

 

Sod this i'm moving in with Keith Richards.

 

He is the Viruses Everest.

Can I ask exactly how Keith will share antibodies with you.....don’t accept chocolate confectionary as the intermediary......his mob have form.

 

An old twit on my jetty firmly believes...
It's just flu.
It's orchestrated by the Chinese so they can buy cheap shares in the slump.
He spent the day indoors with his daughter, son in law and grandchildren yesterday.
If someone official told him to do something, he'd do the opposite just to (in his head) spite them.

 

Tell him the Russians colluded with China as soon as Corbin didn’t get in.

Their man would have stopped Brexit, thus the socialist take over of Europe might not happen.

The Thundberg mole is also loosing pace, she was tasked with creating a distraction from all this and pushing herdthink amongst the young.


China unleashed the Pangola Strain as their nuclear option.

 

He's nuts, you can't reason with him. Probably on a constant wind up, he's from Wigan.

 

The only way to deal with a nutter is to out nutter them.


Ask him if he has any signs of VD as you’ve seen someone of odious repute rubbing their wanger or his boats rudder arm.

 

No work today Moons, anyone would think you are bored??

 

It's pretty obvious to me that Greta is working under cover with the Chinese as they both have the same agenda. Paralyse the global economy so that planes won't fly and cars won't run. Greta saves the planet and the Chinese take over the world. Win, win!

 

I’m very much in work, just some meetings are tech guys trying to prove they can defy physics apparently.

 

He's working for the Government now so only has to work 5 minutes for every hour he invoices, he's at home they don't have a clue what he's doing.








That was a joke Moons.

 

Probably fried his brain at the casino