Cor, cold out there. I’ve come back for a thicker coat. While I’m here... What do you call a woman that juggles tins of bitter, while fashioning a vase out of Clay on a spinning,round table, as she writes children’s books? Beer,tricks Potter... Ah, there’s my snorkel....
How is it that I can’t even watch an advert for ‘The Karate Kid’ without jumping round the house, air kicking the banister and rolling through doorways, but my missus can watch an entire episode of Master Chef without making so much as a f***ing sandwich?!
I was sat in a bar in Thailand when a drop dead gorgeous Thai girl came and sat next to me. I kept repeating in my head “don’t get an erection, don’t get an erection”. But she did.
Britain woke up this morning to the news that a large city in Yorkshire had dissappeared without trace. Police are out in force searching the county for clues to the mystery. So far they have not discovered any Leeds.
A Bear walks into a bar and says "Give me a Whisky and............................Coke" "Why the big pause?" asks the bartender The Bear shrugged and says "I'm not sure I was born with them"
OMG thats nearly as bad as "All the toilets in the local nick were stolen" A Police spokesperson said "we have nothing to go on" Since @Terrordales is still missing I'll get my own coat........
A cement mixer crashed into a prison wagon on The M56 this morning ,all of the convicts escaped Police are on the look out for 8 hardened criminals
