Joke

What goes in and out and smells of wee?

Your nan doing the okey cokey..

 

two parrots sat on a perch. one says to the other, can you smell fish ?

 

Two parrots sitting on a perch, one says to the other, how much do you weigh? No idea the other replies...I keep slipping off the scales...

 

Gah!

 

Two goldfish in a tank, one says to the other,
Do you know how to drive this?

 

Two cannibals eating a clown one says to the other,
Does this taste funny to you?

 

In the indian last night when the waiter came over and said,"Curry ok sir", I said ok one song then F off

 

How do you turn a Duck into a soul singer?







Put it in the microwave until it's Bill Withers!

 

why do cows have hooves instead of feet ?
because they lactose.

 

Why couldn't the Chameleon change colour? He had a reptile dysfunction..

 

Here's one from Mrs Haynes

(Q)What do you call the useless bit of skin On the end of a penis?
(A) a man

Charming

 

"There's a black fella, a Pakistani and a Jew in a nightclub......

What a fine example of an integrated community. "





"How many Pakistanis can you get in a mini?

Well it's obvious. Four and maybe a small child..."


(Courtesy of Bernard Righton aka John Thompson)

 

How do you make a cat go woof,

Cover it in petrol and throw a match on it .

 

What did the slug say to the snail?

"Big Issue, sir?"

 

What do you call a deer with no eyes?


No idea

 

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?



Still no idea

 

What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs and no ears?


Def still no idea.

 

I love cooking children and dogs...but I hate using commas.

 

Why? Decent vans aren't they?