I could totally do that....

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Moons, Jan 12, 2019.

  1. You know what they say about anything with a pulse ,how ever weak :eek::D
    Meltman, Uncle Nick, Dazza and 2 others like this.
  2. Public Defibrillators are designed to be used by anyone. They give audible instructions. Whether they can save a life depends really on how serious the heart attack is. Our first aid trainer used to reassure us that you do all you can, but the fact that the patient has collapsed and is not breathing means the chances are they probably will not survive. He used to really moan about how on the TV people do CPR and people come back to life. He says that's nonsense. Best thing he says you can do is 'keep pumping the chest' until the paramedics arrive. That way you maintain a minimal blood flow to the brain which gives them a fighting chance when the experts get there.
  3. They do indeed do a quick ECG, so that cack-handed folk don’t start belting folk with nothing wrong with them.
  4. Dazza

    Dazza Eyebrow not high brow

    I get that but I thought that if your heart had stopped you’d probably benefit from a defib but for some reason some folk in the office claimed that they don’t even try to shock a stopped heart - doesn’t sound right to me and I suspect they’re wrong :eek:
  5. Well, it hasn’t really stopped. It’s just twitching, not really doing anything. Bit like trying to start your Bay...
  6. Dazza

    Dazza Eyebrow not high brow

    I get you - If we’re comparing it to starting my bay though- would a big heavy adjustable spanner celeryting against their chest have a similar effect ?
    crossy2112 and CollyP like this.
  7. Yep. They teach that on first aid courses. If they won’t start, give their chests a few whacks with a hammer...
    crossy2112 and Meltman like this.
  8. Dazza

    Dazza Eyebrow not high brow

    I’m on a first aid course next week - I’ll take mine with me to see if they approve :thumbsup:
    snotty likes this.
  9. I am actually nearly that old!
    snotty likes this.
  10. I could totally make fire by rubbing sticks together, Ray Mears style.

    I could whittle a drill set, collect some silver birch bark (for tinder), a slightly bowed branch & the string from Bazza's undercrackers (he wouldn't need 'em!) for the bow & I would be good to go!

    Who needs matches?
    Meltman, Moons and snotty like this.
  11. Have a word with @bernjb56 . I'm told he's fully trained in leeches and blood-letting.
    bernjb56 likes this.
  12. Oi you’re not touching my undercrackers................................

    SweeneyTodd likes this.
  13. I did - he just told me to keep taking the tablets
    bernjb56 and snotty like this.
  14. Once the paramedics arrived where we were, they got it set up properly - they actually strapped it around his chest, stood back and gave the initial shock - it then started to automatically pump the bloke's chest with an on-board compression paddle - never seen anything like it.

    Shame they got there too late.
  15. bernjb56

    bernjb56 Moderator

    I still have my pets.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  16. Can you turn base metal into gold, or do they not do that these days?
    bernjb56 likes this.
  17. You could sport a very fetching grass skirt Baz, these guys spring to mind!
  18. That's right. They can't be operated unless all parameters are met that they monitor for. Unfortunately the won't give a cheeky zap for a laugh. Computer says no.
    Dazza likes this.
  19. Moons

    Moons Moderator

    Looks a proper piece of the proverbial, makes you wonder why they sell lighters and matches tbh.

    I also suspect I could easily jump a motorbike off a really high building whilst doing a front flip and firing a machine gun.....and let me tell you if the dry cleaners don't get the crease line in my trousers just so again this is so going to happen.
    Bulletooth likes this.
  20. Moons

    Moons Moderator

    That's a pity, many a stag do prank is now thwarted right at the nucleus of a really stupid drunk idea...
    Pony, scrooge95 and snotty like this.

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