₮i₮s, ₮oilet Seats and Equal Rights

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by BayWatcher, Feb 4, 2014.

  1. Today I find myself wondering randomly, precisely how and when did it become our responsibility to preset the toilet seat to suit the needs of women? Doesn't anybody else see how absurd that is?
    Oh they'll tell you the horrors of landing on cold porcelain in the middle of the night, eyes round and pitiful. If that tone fails to produce sympathy for her desperate plight she'll trot out the dulcet tone of the venomous nag in hopes of irritating you into submission.
    But you know, it's funny. I can't remember ever having fallen into a cold toilet in the dark of night. :thinking:
    Of course I mastered the apparatus when I was 4.
    Then they tell you everybody should be putting down both the seat and the lid for sanitary reasons, quoting precise statistical figures, including the distance and velocity which can be achieved by a microscopic spec of poo, ever-headed directly at her toothbrush.
    This is a classic shock and awe tactic engineered to distract you from the fact that she doesn't put the lid down either.
    Smoke and mirrors, Gentleman, smoke and mirrors.
    Next comes the argument that it should be put back down because that was how you found it, making it a cut and dry case of common propriety.
    Well pardon me, but didn't you quite likely find it in the down position because she made you put it down for her in the first place?
    That's just paradoxical circular reasoning and plain cheeky to boot.
    Now, if you've been clever enough to outwit her every attempt to make you her toilet seat valet thus far, fasten your seatbelt. This last maneuver is where most heterosexual men will crack.
    Of course not all women would stoop to employing this device (wink-wink), which is a shame. I adore watching them try. (My own personal proclivities rendering me immune to their fiendish powers.)
    Yes, this is where they begin to shower you with praises and adoration. This alone should set off an alarm, but the powerful male ego is a tragic vulnerability and is easily exploited.
    Then they strap on the old Wonder Bra and turn off half their brain.
    Next thing you know you're seeing fireworks and your birthday isn't for 3 more months.
    I don't know, Ladies. One must admire the perseverance, but wouldn't it be easier to just manage the toilet for yourselves? (Now don't get too frothy, Girls. I'm just havin' fun.) ;)
     
    Merlin Cat, 72wilma, Jono1249 and 9 others like this.
  2. Seat and lid should go down. That's what they are there for. ;) Do you leave the cupboard doors open when you get something out? :thinking: When you put something in the dust bin do you leave the lid off, because you may need if off again tomorrow? :thinking: It's just laziness and bad manners leaving the loo seat up !!! :p
     
    Merlin Cat, snotty, 72wilma and 5 others like this.
  3. Yes Dear.
     
    snotty, jivedubbin, Diddymen and 3 others like this.
  4. well. I always put the seat and lid down. But she leaves the lid up/seat down. BUT I always leave the cupboards open. So what's that about??
     
  5. Seat and lid should go down, I managed to train my mrs to put the lid down! Mainly due to my mirror and cupboard of crap being above the bog and dont fancy fishing my razor out of the bowl!
     
    Merlin Cat and fritt like this.
  6. Weird innit? some bird i was dating a while back actually said "i like that u put the loo seat down"? i have no memory of ever putting a loo seat down, anyhow, once you go down that road ,they start on the "lid must be put back on the toothpaste tube" script.girls simply like to hear there own voice i reckon?
     
  7. Poptop2

    Poptop2 Moderator

    Oh yes, A toilet thread.. I'm in!

    Two boys in the house put an whole new angle on this discussion. :eek:
     
    Alex VW Heritage and BayWatcher like this.
  8. Ha.:pI often leave cupboards open too. There may be laziness involved but I juggle so much at once, all the quicker to get in & out, I honestly think I just forget because something else is bleeping or burning.
     
    the2ems likes this.
  9. I'm scared that germs will jump out the toilet and attack the family with knives so I always leave mine down.
     
  10. That's different. Clearly, your lid should stay down then if it has developed a taste for your grooming sundries.
    But in most cases, as long as your toilet is clean, who cares if it's up?
     
    Alex VW Heritage likes this.
  11. Poptop2

    Poptop2 Moderator

    Don't you just love it when you lift the lid cover and there in pan is the worlds most unflushable floater. :eek: :confused:
     
  12. You're just gonna go right up in there, aren't you. o_O lol
     

  13. Agreed, Clean being the crucial word, I'll throw another one in their prooving my metrosexuality, whats it with people that can't operate a bog brush? I really have no desire to stare at someone else's tire track in the back of the bowl!

    (by the way I haven't had to train the mrs in this one, she came fully trained already)
     
  14. when you get older ,your memory goes n you forget and sometimes dribble , you then have to remember to wipe n put down which can be very taxing at times :oops:
     
    physiopro and Poptop2 like this.
  15. Poptop2

    Poptop2 Moderator

    Too much info! :eek:
     
    fritt likes this.
  16. apex was more than a tire track i fear :eek:
     
  17. Poptop2

    Poptop2 Moderator

    Agreed.. The bog brush is essential. And Harpic.
     
  18. Just make sure you don't c**p in the cupboard.
     
  19. literally...
     
  20. What I don't understand is, we have been married 34 years, and she still closes the door to have a poo :confused:
     
    Merlin Cat likes this.

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