What’s that all about? I’ve battled for years with one aim To make sure my wife and my girls have a good life. I’m not moaning honestly I’m happy that we’re in a place they are happy and secure and most importantly them selves. Now I wonder what about me? Eldest 18 very soon Youngest nine
If your aim was to make a good and happy life for your family, and if their life is indeed good and happy, then you’ve succeeded. Maybe you should’ve thought about yourself more along the way? Maybe. But the past is done. Look to the future. Think of yourself a bit more, and do things that make your life good and happy too. Life’s too short to go to your grave having looked after everyone else but forgotten about yourself along the way. Go do something for you. I’m sure no one will mind.
Yeah. Get a divorce. It’s the ultimate gift a man can get for himself. I know loads of guys who got one and wished they’d done it years ago.
You need to look after you everyday. Life is short and today may be bad but tomorrow could be much worse. A technique I was taught to deal with chronic conditions is everyday have a list of 5 things that make you happy-despite my cynicism this has been a revelation. Oh and my big dopey golden retriever helps keep me positive even on the dark days.
Simple, Maslow's hierarchy of needs, you have achieved another level, so you're looking at the next level (Self Fulfilment), like climbing a mountain don't think too much about how far you have to go without looking back to see how far you've come, good luck and enjoy the climb...
I think you have to put you on hold for a few years, well proper parents do anyway imo. It's difficult missing out on things that you used to do pre kids! Me and the missus managed to get away for the weekend minus the kids last year and it was a great tonic. We make sure we both get the odd night out to keep sane. Mine are only 5 and 2 and the 2 year old is very attached to mummy which makes her life very difficult as maisy often won't sleep without mummy by her side. We're going out tomorrow night(only 2 miles away) but it'll be a nightmare for granny and often makes us wonder why we bother sometimes. Anyway enough of this serious nonsense, get on with your bloody bus!
Mine have left home for uni ,wow what a difference ,I was pretty free before ,now i'm released from all my parental duties ....yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa... Except one week in three ,when the girl comes home and hits the cupboards like a plague of locusts...
I gave up some personal 'goals' when my daughter was born. She's the best thing that happened to me. Later I realised I hadn't given up any 'goals'...they had just changed.
we understand as so many of us on here have been there and done that and many would be in the same position and having the same feelings and thoughts as you. being married and raising a family is costly in terms of cash and emotions and clearly you are successful doing the Dad and husband stuff, but you do need to strike a balance so your own needs are met. in my experience, families tend to do too much together and don't give separate time for Mum and Dad to have their own interests. after a long marriage and bringing up 2 kids and sacrificing a lot of my time and money to them, when the kids left home, my ex wife did the same, its common. now my kids don't see me as important in their lives and my daughter hasn't spoken to me for 6 years despite my efforts to stay in touch. my message is to enjoy family life but do your own thing as well while you are young enough. Its not being selfish, its about you as an individual. after Divorce I was free to be my own boss and do whatever I wanted and I have been happy with that. I think that's why many folks after divorcing and having an unhappy life, they go on to have a new partner and new life on their own terms. This is what my son has done. Life is very short and older age creeps up on you quickly and the body wears out and then its too late to do the things you have dreamed of.
I thought you would bring a cheerful slant on the post.... @mgbman ,we hav'nt seen mrs lef's son for 8 years ,sometimes they are busy living their own lives...
I was hoping my points about my own family life experiences would help Para to think about what he wants to do for himself and do it. While I did enjoy family life, I regret not doing more of my own thing when I was younger and setting aside some of my hard earned cash for me.
I have had loads of feedback from my elderly clients ,a lot say the same as you ,you're not young forever.... I must say the majority of elderly people over here are having a whale of a time....
